BEVERLY HILLS, California – 

Adored and cherished by people of all walks of life and ages, actress and funny-woman Betty White recently revealed a troubling and long time secret regarding comedian Bill Cosby.

Yesterday afternoon while on a telephone interview with  journalist Gerald Duke of Entertainment Hollywood Monthly, White dropped a bombshell when asked about Cosby’s recent negative media attention.

“Oh it’s dreadful, truly dreadful.” White revealed. “I’ve known Bill for ages, and the fact that he’s being so hounded lately, it’s really sad. I’ve known about his secret for years, as it was something that he confided in me years ago after a night spent together taping an episode of Mary Tyler Moore. I honestly thought it was a secret that would never come out, and he would take it to his grave.”

When pressed for more information about what Cosby had told her about his sexual assaults, White was taken aback, and seemed very confused.

“Wait – what? I don’t know what you mean, sexual assaults. Bill raped someone? Who? What are we talking about, here?” questioned White when the topic was brought up. It was explained to her that Cosby had recently come under serious media fire after several women, including prominent actresses and models, had come forward saying he had assaulted them.

“Oh Gosh, I don’t know anything about that. I was talking about how the time he confided in me that he never actually liked Jello Pudding Pops, and that he only did the commercials because they paid him so much,” said White. “Secretly, he was secretly a Popsicle-brand lover. I can’t believe that Bill is a sexual deviant, though. That’s such a shame.”

The legacy shredding accusations of the past couple months from hoards of women, and at least one man, claiming Cosby forced himself on them sexually, still has Americans in utter shock. Cosby has had speaking and comedy engagements cancelled, a new series indefinitely postponed, and Netflix cancelled a new stand-up special that they had planned to promote for a Thanksgiving release.

“I know now there are many people coming forward now who, sadly, didn’t get to know the Bill Cosby that I know,” said White. “The Popsicle lover. The comedian. The man behind the sweaters, so to speak. Such a shame that he’d risk everything just to get his rocks off. I guess he must not like blondes, though, because the man never once came onto me.”