Hurricane Escobar, Winter Storm Uteri Will Collide Causing Catastrophic Storm Next Week

Hurricane Escobar, Winter Storm Uteri Will Collide Causing Catastrophic Storm Next Week

The storm coming up from the south will hit Florida and Alabama, and is set to continue moving Northeast all the way to Maine. Bread and milk prices expected to soar dramatically. 

GULF SHORES, Alabama –

Professor and Chief Scientific Meteorologist, Christian Cumulus, of Louisiana State University, as well as scientists at the National Weather Service of Central Florida, have confirmed the “utmost likelihood” of a potentially fierce storm in the Western Hemisphere, very likely the worst in over 500 years.

Cumulus says that the storm will come to fruition when expected Level-4 Hurricane Escobar and its frigid air counterpart, Winter Storm Uteri, are aligned for a massive collision headed straight for Gulf Shores, Alabama and will be affecting all major cities in the surrounding areas, and will possibly continue up through the Northeast, all the way to Maine.

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“This is without a doubt the most aggressive combination of two split-season storms I have not only ever seen in my 35-year career in meteorology, but also that anyone has ever encountered in this field of study,” said Cumulus. “This storm will be absolutely catastrophic, with the high risk of significant loss of property, and possibly life, in all of Gulf, as well as the entire Eastern United States. Please, stock up on water and food, especially bread and milk, and stay safe.”

“Based on all 7 models, we expected the Frankenstein-like storm to crash into state-side sometime early next week. It is with every bit of my professional being that I encourage all citizens to abandon their homes and head North-West,” Said Weather Service researcher Miles Nimbus. “Just thinking of the devastation which is sure to occur worries me immensely, please prepare yourselves. Stock up on bread and milk, and get yourselves out of the path of the storm.”

The National Weather Service of Huntsville, in Alabama, has also released a statement, saying that residents should take the professional’s advice and head North. A conference is being planned for sometime later this week in which strict guidelines will be released to citizens.

“We don’t want anyone to panic, but we don’t want you to know what’s coming,” said Alabama Governor Skip Altostratus. “Please, wait for our instructions, and remain calm. Visit your local stores to stock up on bread and milk, and know that your local government agencies are working hard to prepare everyone for a potential catastrophe.”

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