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Health/Fitness
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Researchers Find Chemical In Doritos Linked To Male Impotence

June 28, 2014

STOCKHOLM -- Swedish Researchers at the University of Stockholm released a startling report to their Parliament over the weekend linking popular american brand tortilla chip, Doritos to male impotence and a negative birthrate in Sweden. The mega-popular ...

Headlines
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Westboro Baptist Church Members Now Claiming ‘God Hates Jesus’

June 28, 2014

 TOPEKA, Kansas -  Westboro Baptist Church, everyone's favorite radical religious group, are making their presence known again across the world. Apparently, even the Son of God isn’t safe from the damnation of the Westboro Baptist family, ...

Headlines
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Police Officer Suspended After Putting 3-Year-Old Toddler In Handcuffs

June 27, 2014

COVINGTON, Louisiana -   A veteran police officer has been suspended from duty this week after allegations that he handcuffed a 3-year-old toddler and put him in the back of a police car because he was "annoyed" with ...

Headlines
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North Korea Plans Missile Attack On U.S. Over Seth Rogen Comedy

June 26, 2014

HOLLYWOOD, California -  Funnyman and film writer Seth Rogen has teamed up again with actor James Franco to make a comedy film that is pretty topical in the present day.  The movie, "The Interview," pits Franco and ...

Business
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Fast Food Chains Brace For Onslaught Of Fake ‘Sympathy Stories’ By Parents Of Disfigured Children

June 25, 2014

OAK BROOK, Illinois -  McDonald's, Wendy's, Burger King, and several other fast food chains have been preparing for the worst, after a story about a girl with scars from a pitbull attack was allegedly asked to ...

Headlines
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Oprah Posts Bail For ‘Sexy Felon’ Jeremy Meeks

June 24, 2014

STOCKTON, California -  The internet was abuzz this past week when a mug shot of accused arms dealer Jeremy Meeks hit the web, making women swoon and men jealous over his movie-star good looks. Apparently all the ...

Politics
Empire-News-Cops-Cracking-Down-on-teens-abstract-expresionist-painting-while-driving

Cops Crack Down on Teens Abstract Expressionist Painting While Driving

June 24, 2014

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  Police across the country are taking part in a new initiative meant to make our roads safer by cracking down on teens and adults who create abstract expressionist paintings while they drive. The program ...

Entertainment
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MTV To Produce ‘Hunger Games’ Style Reality Show, ‘Con Stars’

June 24, 2014

DETROIT, Michigan -  In a bold move by the Federal Prison System to combat swelling overpopulations of their institutions, a real-life Hunger Games reality show has been launched by MTV in partnership with the Federal Justice Bureau. The show ...

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