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New Study Proves Everyone Is At Least Slightly Gay

June 07, 2014

PIEDMONT, North Dakota -  A new scientific study performed by a private medical team at Massasoit General Hospital in Piedmont, North Dakota has proven that 100% of people have at least a little bit of gay in them. "It ...


Obama Apologizes For Bergdahl Negotiations; Offers To Trade Him Back To Taliban

June 06, 2014

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  Just 5 days ago, the Obama administration orchestrated the release of Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl from a Taliban-controlled prison in Afghanistan in exchange for 5 Guantanamo Bay detainees. Since his release was announced, the online debates ...


Sprint Looks To Buy T-Mobile; Plans To Completely Dissolve Company

June 05, 2014

OVERLAND PARK, Kansas -  Negotiations have begun for Sprint, the third largest wireless company in the US, to purchase T-Mobile, the fourth largest wireless company, from their parent Deutsche Telekom. The merger is reported to be worth ...


Brad Pitt to Attacker Vitalii Sediuk: “I’ll Pay Your Bail If You’ll Fight Chuck Liddell”

June 05, 2014

HOLLYWOOD, California -  Brad Pitt was assaulted at the premiere of his wife Angelia Jolie’s new film Maleficent early last week by self-proclaimed celebrity “prankster” Vitalii Sediuk. Sediuk apparently made it past security and hit Pitt ...


Twitter Launching New Paid Service With 200 Character Limit

June 05, 2014

SAN FRANSISCO, California -  Twitter [NYSE: TWTR] may have finally put an end to the jokes about getting all your thoughts down in 140 characters or less, as this morning they announced their new paid service, dubbed Twit-Pro, ...


Charles Manson Granted Parole

June 04, 2014

Corcoran, California - One of the most famous killers in the American prison system will soon be walking free. On Tuesday Charles Manson, who is now 79 years old, was granted parole by the California Board of Parole and authorized by ...


All Prisons In Europe May Close

June 04, 2014

LONDON --  A convicted criminal has made an astonishing complaint to the European Court of Human Rights, on the grounds that being in prison infringes his basic human rights. Jerry Buckles, a lifelong petty crook and ...


College Student Excused From Classes After Dog Eats Grandmother

June 03, 2014

OXFORD, OH--  A student at Miami Ohio University is receiving a lot of attention after a letter he wrote to his professor went viral. According to the letter, the student, Joseph Goldsmith, claimed that his dog, "ate ...

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