What's New

Facebook Announces Purchase of Trader Joe’s

June 28, 2017

COSTA MESA, California -  Not to be outdone by Amazon, who recently purchase Whole Foods, Facebook announced today their purchase of Trader Joe's, the "hippie lite" version of Whole Foods. "Amazon may have Whole Foods, but we'll ...


Snapchat Is Secretly Storing Every Picture That’s Taken – And Then Selling Them On The Black Market!

June 28, 2017

VENICE, California - A hacker who goes by the name of Mr. Kitty has reportedly stumbled across code in the Snapchat app that proves that the company is storing every single picture that is taken on ...


Trump Reportedly Changed Every Toilet In The White House Because He Didn’t Want To Use The Same Ones As Obama

June 28, 2017

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  An anonymous staffer from within the White House has confirmed that President Trump has had every toilet in the building replaced since moving in, in an effort to not have to "shit in ...


Police Officer Who Killed Philando Castile Shot By Even Whiter Cop During Routine Traffic Stop

June 27, 2017

HUNTSVILLE, Alabama -  Jeronimo Yanez, the police officer who was found not guilty of murder in the shooting death of an African-American motorist, Philando Castille, was shot this morning in a eerily similar manner. According to police in Huntsville, Alabama, ...


Trump Awards Most Prestigious Education Award, The President’s Academic Medal, To Son Barron

June 27, 2017

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an act of unprecedented nepotism, President Trump gave his son Barron the most prestigious award available to a child enrolled in public school, The President's Academic Medal. The award, which is given out ...


Beyoncé and Jay-Z Announce Birth of Sextuplets

June 27, 2017

LAS VEGAS, Nevada -  Singer Beyoncé and her husband, entertainment mogul Jay-Z, officially announced the birth of their children yesterday, surprising the world by releasing a photo of sextuplets. "We are extremely happy to welcome to the ...


New Breed of Tick Has a Bite That Will Make You Allergic To Vegetables

June 27, 2017

SHELTON, West Virginia -  A new breed of wood tick has been discovered in West Virginia, and is causing a panic among vegetarians and vegans. Along side the "reverse zombie" or "lone star" tick, which has ...


White House Doctor Says That ‘Stress of the Job’ Is Killing President Trump

June 27, 2017

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  President Trump wasn't exactly a young man when he took the office of the President in January, but now, White House doctors are saying that the extreme stress of the job is putting ...

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