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Morgue Employee Cremated By Mistake While Taking a Nap During His Break

March 28, 2017

BEAUMONT, Texas - 48-year old Henri Paul Johnson was killed last week after he was accidentally cremated during a long shift at the Coroner's Office Morgue. According to police, Johnson took a nap on a stretcher after ...


President Trump Plans 2-Month Vacation To Bahamas After ‘Stressful’ First Quarter

March 27, 2017

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  President Trump announced this morning that he would be taking a 2-month vacation beginning April 1st, returning to Washington in June, after a "stressful" first quarter of 2017. "There are a lot of things ...


Prayer Group Now Taking Requests For People Who Deserve To Die

March 26, 2017

BOISE, Idaho - A prayer group in Boise, Idaho has put out a request on social media saying that they will accept "prayer requests" for people who should be wished dead, or otherwise injured - converse ...


Los Angeles Doctor Offers World’s Most Expensive Colon Cleanse Using Aborted Fetuses, ‘Blood of the Innocent’

March 26, 2017

LOS ANGELES, California -  Doctor Carl Jung, a gastroenterologist working in Los Angeles, California, has said he has developed the world's most perfect, and most expensive, colon cleanse for his patients who need to "get the ...


Pope Francis Caught On Security Camera Stealing Food Placed Out For Homeless

March 19, 2017

VATICAN CITY -  Pope Francis was caught stealing food that had been placed behind the Vatican for homeless last night, causing many to decry him as "evil." According to Vatican Police, the footage was retrieved from a ...


Chuck Berry Not Actually Dead, ‘I’m Just a Heavy Sleeper’ Says Rock Legend

March 19, 2017

ST. LOUIS, Missouri -  Chuck Berry, the man that many people say originated modern rock 'n' roll music, was reported as having passed away at the age of 90 by mainstream media, and the topic was ...


President Trump Signs Executive Order H11, Repeals 19th Amendment So Women Can’t Vote

March 18, 2017

  WASHINGTON, D.C. -  After what President Trump says was an election that was "too close" for his comfort, he has said that his latest executive order, H11, will repeal the 19th amendment, making it so women ...


Betsy DeVos: ‘Dropping Out of School Is Best Choice For Many Kids’

March 18, 2017

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos, who was appointed by Donald Trump to oversee the country's education, said today that she feels that a good choice for many children will be to drop out ...

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