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Los Angeles Doctor Offers World’s Most Expensive Colon Cleanse Using Aborted Fetuses, ‘Blood of the Innocent’

March 26, 2017

LOS ANGELES, California -  Doctor Carl Jung, a gastroenterologist working in Los Angeles, California, has said he has developed the world's most perfect, and most expensive, colon cleanse for his patients who need to "get the ...


Pope Francis Caught On Security Camera Stealing Food Placed Out For Homeless

March 19, 2017

VATICAN CITY -  Pope Francis was caught stealing food that had been placed behind the Vatican for homeless last night, causing many to decry him as "evil." According to Vatican Police, the footage was retrieved from a ...


Chuck Berry Not Actually Dead, ‘I’m Just a Heavy Sleeper’ Says Rock Legend

March 19, 2017

ST. LOUIS, Missouri -  Chuck Berry, the man that many people say originated modern rock 'n' roll music, was reported as having passed away at the age of 90 by mainstream media, and the topic was ...


President Trump Signs Executive Order H11, Repeals 19th Amendment So Women Can’t Vote

March 18, 2017

  WASHINGTON, D.C. -  After what President Trump says was an election that was "too close" for his comfort, he has said that his latest executive order, H11, will repeal the 19th amendment, making it so women ...


Betsy DeVos: ‘Dropping Out of School Is Best Choice For Many Kids’

March 18, 2017

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos, who was appointed by Donald Trump to oversee the country's education, said today that she feels that a good choice for many children will be to drop out ...


President Trump Outlaws ‘Fake News,’ CNN Staff Arrested

March 18, 2017

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  President Trump signed executive order HS-666 on Friday, completely outlawing fake news. A memorandum to the order outlined specifically outlets that were deemed to be liars, and people who worked for those media ...

obama arrested

Obama Plans To Run For President Again in 2020 After Lawyers Dig Up Legal Loophole

March 18, 2017

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  Former president Barack Obama has announced that he will be seeking to the White House once more in 2020, after a massive team of lawyers hired by Obama have dug up a legal ...


6 States Vote To Make Masturbation Illegal In Ted Cruz-Backed Law; Is Your State One Of Them?

March 17, 2017

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  You probably missed it on your ballot last November, but a bill to make masturbation illegal was listed on the voter cards for all 50 states, mixed in with other major bills including ...

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