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panda

Pandas Will Go Extinct Within The Next Few Months, Study Finds

December 30, 2016

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  Researchers at the Washington, D.C. House of Agriculture and Animal Affairs say that they expect Pandas will become extinct within the next few months, probably by June of 2017. "We actually had no idea ...

Business
comcast

Comcast Announces Massive Price Hike For Cable, Customers Aren’t Surprised

December 30, 2016

DALLAS, Texas -  Comcast, one of the nation's largest cable companies, says that their annual price increase will take effect on January 1st, and customers can expect to see rates jump by nearly 400%. Mark Lemon, who ...

Business
walmart

Walmart Says That 50% of Items Bought as Christmas Gifts Were Returned

December 30, 2016

BENTONVILLE, Arkansas -  Walmart recently released information stating that for every gift purchase that was made through the holiday season, over 50% of the items were brought back to the store. "People try really, really hard to ...

Headlines
satan

Clinton Campaign Staffer Says Hillary Tried To ‘Sell Her Soul’ To Win, Turns Out She Doesn’t Have Soul

December 30, 2016

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  A former Clinton campaign staffer has come forward, claiming that Hillary Clinton literally tried to make a deal with the devil during the campaign, but it failed miserably. "She had me on the phone ...

Science/Tech
globalwarming

Scientist Officially Proves That Global Warming is a Hoax

December 30, 2016

CONCORD, New Hampshire -  Chester Miller, who has been studying the effects of global warming for nearly 20 years, says that he has finally found conclusive proof that the phenomenon is completely and totally bogus. "I have ...

Health/Fitness
fat

Doctor Says That ‘Fat Is The New Skinny’

December 30, 2016

BOSTON, Massachusetts -  For as long as anyone can remember, doctors have said that being skinny was the only way one could be "truly" healthy. According to one doctor out of Boston, though, that's just not ...

Politics
trump baby

Study: 6 out of 10 Trump Supporters Are Completely Illiterate

November 27, 2016

As Reported By Real News Right Now: An independent study conducted by the bipartisan policy group Alliance for Community Organizations seeking Reform Now has determined that just over fifty-nine percent of voters who support Republican presidential ...

Headlines

National Anthem To Be Outlawed At Sporting Events, Public Gatherings

November 27, 2016

As Reported By ABCNews.com.co: Early this morning, President Obama made what could very well prove to be the most controversial move of his presidency with the signing of Executive Order 14302, which makes it illegal to ...

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