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President Trump Signs Order Placing Ban on AR-15 Rifles

February 26, 2018

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Caving to pressure from teachers’ groups and anti-gun advocates, President Trump signed an immediate order banning the sale, trade, or possession of AR-15 rifles. The ban is effective immediately, with owners required to ...

Entertainment

Spongebob Squarepants Scheduled for Cancellation in October

February 25, 2018

ORLANDO, Florida – Nickelodeon, the TV network behind the popular animated series Spongebob Squarepants, announced this week that after nearly 20 years, the show would be going off the air. “It’s been a long ride, and we ...

Education

President Trump Backtracks On ‘Arming Teachers’ Idea; Claims He Forgot There Were Black Teachers

February 25, 2018

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump has gone back on his statements about arming teachers throughout the United States, claiming that he now considers it a “bad idea.” “When I originally talked about arming the teachers of this ...

Government

Barack Obama Announces Plans To Get Elected As Italian Prime Minister

February 25, 2018

FLORENCE, Italy -  Former President Barack Obama has announced his bid to become Italy's newest Prime Minister. After discovering that Italian law did not dictate that the leader of the country must be a citizen, Obama ...

Headlines

Jeff Sessions Arrested After Routine Traffic Stop Turns Up 20 Pounds of Marijuana In His Car

January 31, 2018

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  Attorney General Jeff Sessions was arrested today after police in Washington, D.C. pulled him over for a broken tail light, and found over 20 pounds of marijuana in the car. Police say that during ...

Law

Teen Files Lawsuit Against His Parents Because He Was ‘Born Black’

January 31, 2018

BOSTON, Massachusetts -  A 16-year-old in Boston has filed one of the most controversial lawsuits in modern history, with legal reports showing that he is suing his own biological parents for being born black. Jamal Cutler, 16, claims he ...

Health/Fitness

57-Year-Old Virgin Sues His Former Middle School For Teaching Abstinence

January 31, 2018

HUNTSVILLE, Alabama -  James Holmes, 57, has filed a lawsuit against his former middle school for teaching him abstinence, as he said that they taught him that he would "burn in hell" if he ever had sex, ...

Entertainment

Old Juggalo Says He’s Worried About The Future Generation of Lil’ Juggalos

January 31, 2018

PONTIAC, Michigan - 55-year-old Kevin Anderson has been a self-proclaimed juggalo for over two decades, but says that young juggalos who are just coming into the family aren't going to continue with the positive  message that ...

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