BOSTON, Massachusetts –
The FBI is offering a reward for information leading to identification of the “Cracka-Killer,” who has nine confirmed kills, all of whom were strangled and found with a single saltine cracker placed over each eye. The Cracka-Killer is assumed to be an unmarried black man, age 28-40, who feels “wronged by the white man.” His victims have all been white men and women above age thirty, and were residents of Massachusetts and New York State.
According to John Douglas, a former chief of FBI’s serial crime unit, there are conservatively between 35 and 50 active serial killers on the loose in the US at any given time. Most do not leave such an obvious calling card.
As many tips are expected to flood in, the FBI reminds the public not to call in to report every gang member or man of color buying crackers.
Resident Jay-Rod Brown is offended that they assume it’s a black man. “It’s actually racist to assume the killer is a black man. Maybe he isn’t calling them ‘crackas,’ maybe his momma didn’t give him enough soup as a child. You never know what’s in a psycho’s mind. Or it’s some old cracka who wants to put the suspicion on someone else. That’s my theory.”