Obama Plans To Run For President Again in 2020 After Lawyers Dig Up Legal Loophole

obama arrested

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

Former president Barack Obama has announced that he will be seeking to the White House once more in 2020, after a massive team of lawyers hired by Obama have dug up a legal loophole that will allow him to serve more than 2 terms.

“It was a lot of work, and I’ve had this team of over 40 lawyers working on this for 3 years,” said Obama. “I knew that they would eventually be able to find a way to get me back in, and we have found one. I am now eligible to run for a third term, possibly more if I am re-elected, and I can save this country from what is a whirlwind downfall with Trump in office.”

Obama did not elaborate on how he was able to run for a third term, except to say that it was a “complicated matter” that has been confirmed by “the best lawyers in the world.”

President Trump has not commented publicly on Obama’s plans, but the commander-in-chief did say that he will beat “anyone” who runs against him in 2020, no matter who it is.

Betty White Officially Announces Bid For Presidency in 2020

betty white

LOS ANGELES, California – 

Betty White has accomplished a lot in her life. She’s endured nearly 7 decades in Hollywood. She’s been at the forefront of caring for animals. She’s survived numerous death hoaxes. But there’s one thing that she says she’s sorry she’s never accomplished, and that now is the time to “right that wrong.”

“I have never been President of the United States, and I think it’s time to change that,” said White, who turned 95 on January 17th. “I’ve seen a lot of politicians come and go in my day. A lot of Presidents. Some of them have been good. Some have been bad. But not a single one of them has been me.”

White says that since she plans on living forever, there’s no reason that her age should stop her.

“In 2020, by the time I’d be getting sworn in, I would be turning 99 years old. I think that’s still a good age. Anything under 100 is still a good age to be trying new things,” said White. “I for one think I can do a better job than a lot of previous commanders-in-chief have done. I won’t name names or anything, but the bad ones know who they are.”

White did not say which party, if any, she plans to run under, but she did say that she will not ask for a dime in funding from private citizens, and instead asks anyone who thinks they’d like to donate to her campaign to instead donate to their local no-kill animal shelter.

Kanye West Announces Run For Presidency In 2020, Oddly Assumes He’ll Still Be Relevant

Kanye West Insists On Nobel Peace Prize, Claims He 'Brings Peace' Everywhere He Goes

LOS ANGELES, California – 

During the MTV VMAs, an award ceremony in its 32nd year that approximately 6 people may have cared to watch, producer, rapper, and Mr. Kardashian himself, Kanye West, announced that he would run for president during the 2020 elections.

“No one would make a better president than I would,” said West, presumably. “Hell, we’ve already had one black president. I could run in 2016, but I forgot those elections were happening, and I’m a little late. So I’ll run in 2020, and I’ll win. Plus, Kim will make one hell of a first lady, that’s for damn sure.”

According to political analysts, West has approximately a “0%” chance of ever becoming elected, whether he ran in 2016, 2020, or in 2040.

“Kanye West is already fading into obscurity, thank God,” said political analyst Mike Phisher. “He does these things to make himself stand out for a second, like interrupting Taylor Swift, having unhealthy obsessions with Beyonce, having really ugly babies and naming them odd-ball things. He’s not really a celebrity anymore, and by 2020 he’ll be completely forgotten. He’s kind of just the male version of his wife, Kim Kardashian. He has about as much chance being elected president as an illegal immigrant from Mexico. Besides, what party would want him? There is no ‘pretentious asshole’ party.”

West reportedly seems undeterred.

“I will certainly stand a better chance than most people, as I have tons of money to waste and can run easily spend enough to get noticed, not that there’s any way that I won’t still be in the spotlight,” said West. “Thing is, nobody is better than me at anything. I could be the next president, the next Pope, the shit don’t matter. Whatever I’m doing, I’m doing it better than anyone.”

 

 

Design & Developed By Open Source Technologies.