Doctor Carl Jung, a gastroenterologist working in Los Angeles, California, has said he has developed the world’s most perfect, and most expensive, colon cleanse for his patients who need to “get the pipes working again.”
Dr. Jung has been treating certain patients using the “blood of the innocent,” which he harvests from a doctor friend that performs abortions at a local Planned Parenthood facility.
“My procedure is one-of-a-kind that I developed myself while studying in Uganda in 1983,” said Dr. Jung. “It works better than any other anal douche you could get, and it’s all because of the massive white blood cell count found in aborted fetuses. This is not a magic pill you take to cleanse your body – this is a true, liquid cavity expulsion.”
Dr. Jung says that he has been procuring dead babies for “over 30 years” from a friend, who says wishes to remain anonymous. Several celebrities, including Martha Stewart, Barack Obama, and Paul McCartney have all said to have visited Dr. Jung for the treatment, which costs a whopping $289,000 per session.
“They love it, and they keep coming back,” said Dr. Jung. “As anyone would tell you, there’s no better way to cleanse that ass than with the blood of the innocent.”
The small town of Greasewood in northeastern Arizona has been shaken to its core this morning, after news broke that a local planned parenthood facility had been illegally dumping late-term aborted fetuses in the city’s landfill, which borders the clinic property.
Police were called to the Dayglo Planned Parenthood Clinic after workers on a nearby construction site saw clinic workers bringing small, plastic bags out into the yard several times a day and burying them in the trash and dirt.
“At first we thought it was just their regular trash,” said Aaron Shaw, an employee of Marshall Construction, the company working on the building next to Dayglo. “After awhile, we realized that almost every time a girl went in the front door, a small plastic package came out the back. It didn’t take much after that to put the pieces together.”
Medical examiners and police officials have been exhuming the remains of what has already been calculated is at least 300 babies since early this morning, and estimates are that there may be as many as 500 bodies buried in the landfill.
“This is truly the most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen in all my years on the force,” said José Orfebre, captain of the Greasewood Police Department. “I came here with my family when I was just a little boy, and I thought I’d seen the last of this kind of sickness when I left Mexico. It’s really just disgusting what these people have done.”
Arizona has laws preventing late-term, third-trimester abortions, but as is the case in many other states, there are unscrupulous doctors who will knowingly endanger their patients for the right amount of money. Greasewood is a small town, with a population of only about 600 people. Investigators have determined that women and girls from the surrounding towns were going to Dayglo after word spread that they would perform the abortions, no questions asked, for $300 cash.
“I was just performing a necessary service for these women,” said Dr. Michael Smith. “I had a girl come to me several years ago who had tried to literally perform an abortion on herself with a coat hanger. She was lucky that she didn’t injure herself worse than she had. At that point, I knew that I had to do something for the girls of Arizona.”
Police arrested Dr. Smith and three other people from the Dayglo clinic, including two nurses and a receptionist. All four people are considered to have had first-hand knowledge of the illegal procedures being performed.
Authorities believe, based on the decomposition of several of the bodies pulled from that landfill, that Dr. Smith had been performing abortions illegally at his clinic for at least 6 years. He is being charged with medical malpractice and felonious abortion.