Congress To Lift Age of Sexual Consent Across Country

sex

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

Congress has voted unanimously to completely lift the age of sexual consent in all states in the country. Currently, most states have laws that restrict sexual activity to teens aged 16, 17, or 18, depending on the state. Starting June 1st, the laws will be lifted, allowing children of all ages to begin copulating.

“The problem with the current laws, really, was that sex feels really, really damn good,” said congressman Joel Silver (R-Iowa). “Kids know that, and they’ve been having sex younger and younger over the years. In the early 1900s, girls were getting married and having families at 13. Somewhere along the way, those values were skewed. This helps to get us back on the right track.”

According to Silver, the bill was created to make sure that there were less people crying statutory rape unnecessarily.

“My son is 17, and his girlfriend was 16,” said Silver. “They dated for two years. Both myself and the girl’s parents knew that they were having sex. It was fine, until they broke up. At that point, the girl’s parents immediately cried statutory rape, and my son was arrested and charged. Is that fair? This fixes that.”

Silver hopes that children who begin sexual activity earlier will also learn about safe sex earlier as well.

Congress In Talks To Completely Abolish Age of Consent Laws Throughout Country

Congress In Talks To Completely Abolish Age of Consent Laws Throughout Country

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

Congressman Fisher Lewis (D- Delaware) has brought a bill to Washington that seeks to completely abolish the age of consent laws, putting a federal mandate on states that would force them to remove any rulesĀ from the books – as well as setting free prisoners who have been locked up for statutory rape offenses.

“Basically, I think that these laws for age of consent are nonsense,” said Lewis. “I don’t understand why we are putting laws on the books that dictate when a person should be ready for sexual intercourse. No one can decide that. It’s just silly, and I hope to reverse these laws nation wide.”

Lewis says that he became very concerned about the laws after his son, Michael, 17, was brought up on charges of statutory rape for having consensual sex with his 16-year-old girlfriend, Carrie.

“Michale and Carrie have been dating since they were 11,” said Lewis. “Seriously – they’ve been inseparable for years. Both of our families used to joke they’d be together one day, and then married. Here it is, 6 years later, and yes, they’re having sex. Have been for awhile. Michael came to me right away and we spoke of it. I’ve even spoken to Carrie, and know it was all consensual, of course. But, her staunch republican parents don’t like the idea all of a sudden, and Michael was arrested. It broke them both into tears for days.”

Lewis says that in his state of Delaware, a crime was committed, as the age of consent for both men and women is 18 – but in many other states, it would be no big deal.

“If they had been in New Hampshire, for example, then there’d be no issue – the AOC there is 16 for boys and girls. Are kids in New Hampshire that much more advance than my kids in Delaware? What’s the problem with this scenario?” Asked Lewis.

It’s true that states have different laws deciding when the children in that state are legally old enough to make decisions about their own sex lives, but most parents agree that abolishing the laws completely is ridiculous.

“Why don’t they just make it the same in every state? 16 across the board? or 18 across the board – who cares?” asked concerned parent Tanya Morris of Virginia. “Frankly, abolishing it completely frightens me. What if my 11-year-old daughter hooks up with some sweet-talking 40-year-old. Sure, it could be ‘consensual,’ but my God, I don’t want her to turn out like me – pregnant at 12 and hooking in the streets!”

So far, Lewis is undeterred in his quest to abolish the laws.

“It’s not even just about Michael, whose name I was able to clear using my power in Congress,” said Lewis. “It’s making sure that kids everywhere are free to bang it out whenever they personally decide they’re ready without having the threat of prison and sex-offender tag hanging over their heads.”

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