FDA Lifts Ban on Cat, Dog Meat; Agency Will Allow Use In Restaurants, Home Cooking

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

The Food and Drug Administration in Washington, D.C. has reportedly lifted an age-old ban on cat and dog meat that kept restaurants from using the ingredient in their dishes. The move comes after a petition signed by over 2 million people on change.org that pleaded with the agency to reduce its hold over delicious pet meats.

“I am so excited to hear that the FDA has lifted the ban on cat meats, as it is a delicacy, and it is delicious,” said 4th-generation Chinese restaurant owner Chow “Joseph” Han. “Those of us who have been eating and serving cat secretly for many years are breathing a massive sigh of relief in no longer having to hide our ingredients.”

According to Han, this also means that the meat that they will use will come from cleaner, safer animals.

“Because the FDA was not allowing us the use of certain meats, namely those of cats and dogs, we would have to catch strays to make sure that people didn’t know where the food came from,” said Han. “Oftentimes, those strays were mangey or dirty, and may have had rabies. Now, with the lifted ban, we can control the food, and the meat will come from clean, regulated animals.”

Cat and dog meats, which are commonly consumed in other countries, had been banned in the United States since 1904.

Dog Kills Owner After Being Forced To Lick Peanut Butter From His Groin

Dog Kills Owner After Being Forced To Lick Peanut Butter From His Groin

 

BATON ROUGE, Louisiana –

Thomas May, age 46, died early Friday morning in his Baton Rouge home. May’s death was caused by his dog, in a brutal attack that neighbors are saying they aren’t at all surprised to finally see happen.

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“He would leave his dog out for hours upon hours, and personally I have never seen him feed the dog or pick up any of his droppings,” said Claire Devin, who has lived next to May for 5 years. “He has had the dog for as long as I have lived here, and I did call animal control on him several times. It appears my calls never worked because I never witnessed anyone come check his home for animal cruelty. Tom was a lonely man, he never had company, and the only time I would see him was when he would came out of his home to grab his paper, always just in his underwear.”

Police found May brutally attacked in his living room, with his pants around his ankles and peanut butter covering his groin. It appears from a DNA sample that the dog was licking the peanut butter off of May before attacking his neck and killing him.

Normally, under state law, a dog that attacks has to be put down, but a judge made an exception in the case of May’s dog, who was named Taco.

“He was going to be put down, but a local family heard the story and decided to adopt the dog. I have decided to spare the dog’s life, as it is clear he was under heavy strain and probably abuse, and that is why he attacked Thomas May,” said Judge Joe Goldsmith. “The family says that they have already bonded with Taco, and that the Chihuahua has become fast friends with their children, and their other pets.”

 

 

 

Man Uses Crowd Funding Website To Get ‘Ransom’ For Cat

BROOKLYN, New York –  Man Uses Crowd Funding Website To Get 'Ransom' For Cat2

An unknown man has created a Kickstarter page where he claims he is holding a stray cat for ransom. The anonymous page went up to the Kickstarter website, which has its offices in Brooklyn, New York, on Thursday morning, with the goal of “I Won’t Kill This F—— Cat.”

The Kickstarter page features a man, his face blurred out, holding a gun to the head of a cat. The anonymous man has posted that if he doesn’t hit his goal of $60,000, then he is going to shoot the cat in the face and post a video of it online.

“There are no perks with this Kickstarter,” the page says. “You send me money. I don’t care if it’s a dollar or a thousand dollars. You’ll all get the same perk – and that perk is saving the life of this cat. If I don’t hit my goal, then I’m going to shoot this cat, film it, and post it online. Then everyone who saw this post, or heard about it, and didn’t donate any money, can know they had a hand it murdering an animal.”

According to Kickstarter, they are keeping the page up while they work with members of the FBI to track down the individual who posted the page. At this time, they are not sure if the page is a legitimate threat towards the animal, or if it is someone trying to capitalize on the fact that no one wants to see an innocent animal harmed, and may be willing to fork over their own money to make sure it doesn’t happen.

“It’s entirely possible it’s all a joke, and he’d never hurt the animal. He may just want to score easy money,” says Aaron Silver, lead investigator for the FBI’s Animal Crimes and Abuse unit. “At this time, though, we are treating it as if he is being serious, and working hard to track down the poster.”

Representatives for Kickstarter could not be reached for comment, but a person at their offices ask that all inquiries about the anonymous account or the page itself be directed to the FBI as they investigate.

“Kickstarter has been used for some good things,” said Silver. “We’ve seen great technology and even great movies get made with crowd funding. Granted, we’ve also seen a man collect almost $50,000 to make potato salad, but in the end this sort of ‘come-together-with money’ attitude can be great. Unfortunately, it can also be used by sickos who are preying on the internet population, hoping for an easy payday, notoriety, or both.”

At the time of this writing, the Kickstarter page had only managed to earn $27.

 

 

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