Boston Marathon Bomber Tsarnaev Severely Injured In Prison, May Never Walk Or Talk Again

Ad

FORT DEVENS, Massachusetts – Accused Boston Marathon Bomber Severely Injured In Prison, May Never Walk Or Talk Again

Infamous Boston Marathon bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, 22, was the victim of an “unfortunate accident” yesterday at Ft. Devens Detention Center in Massachusetts, just a few short months after his high-profile trial and sentencing, according to warden Paul Jacobson.

Corrections officers reportedly found the terror suspect face down in a pool of his own blood in his cell; a banana peel was found on the floor nearby.

“It initially appeared as though Tsarnaev slipped on a discarded banana peel and hit the floor with such force that his head bounced off the hard tile surface, probably 16 or 17 times. There was blood everywhere – all over the walls, the floor, even the toilet. The injuries have caused massive brain trauma,” said prison investigator Joe Goldsmith. “We determined though, through expert analysis, that it would be impossible for these injuries to have occurred through a fall. Our investigation has shown that that it was the Aryan Brotherhood who initiated an attack on Tsarnaev.”

“Yes, it was the brotherhood who took care of that bomber,” said Miles Smith, head of the Aryan Nation inside Devens. “The other gangs, they wanted him, too. We paid the guards the most money to have a shot. They stood aside, and let us do what we do. On the way out, they shook our hands, told us ‘Thank you.’ Well, You’re welcome. You’re welcome, Boston. You’re welcome, America!”

“Normally, an attack this violent, this cruel, on another inmate would get any offending party more time added to their sentence,” said warden Jacobson. “Because of the nature of Tsarnaev’s crimes, though, we have decided to actually reduce the sentences of the Aryan members who were involved. They have done our prison and our country a great service, and we appreciate it immensely. They are heroes in the eyes of not only this institution, but also in the eyes of the people of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.”

Tsarnaev had pled not guilty to all thirty charges filed against him, but was found guilty on all counts in April. He was sentenced to the death penalty per the crimes committed.

 

 

Newly Appointed Texas Sheriff Promises To ‘Look The Other Way’ On Crimes Against Illegals

BROOKS COUNTY, Texas – Newly Appointed Texas Sheriff Promises To 'Look The Other Way' On Crimes Against Illegals

Sheriff “Big Roy” Wayne of Brooks County, Texas almost single-handedly declared an open hunting season on illegal immigrants in his county when he released a statement to the press yesterday morning announcing that he would be ‘looking the other way’ on crimes against illegal immigrants in his county. The announcement has brought both praise from Texas locals, and promise of lawsuits from human rights groups and the ACLU.

Learn more about RevenueStripe...

”If President Obama can pick and choose which laws he wants to enforce, so can I, because in Brooks County I am the law. I choose to ignore crimes against illegals, not because I hate them, but because we can’t afford them,” said Sheriff Wayne. “Obama lets them cross the border, I can’t stop that, but I can make it so uncomfortable here they steer clear of my county. We ain’t got enough jobs for our citizens, we have good people, tax payers who want me to do something about the illegal problem.

Wayne said that he isn’t expecting that anyone literally go out and kill illegal immigrants, but that a little rough-housing might make them think twice before sneaking in.

“Now, I ain’t saying I want anyone killing them illegals, but smack them around a little – sure, that’s okay. Beat them up real good, take what little belongings they have – Hell, why not? They’re taking from you, so take it back. Once word gets out about my plans, I am hoping that illegals will avoid Brooks County and we can get this ugliness behind us. Tomorrow, volunteers will be putting up signs all around the county that say, in Mexican, ‘U.S. Citizens Only – All Others Will Be Removed Violently! You Are Not Welcome In Brooks County!'” 

“If you commit a crime against an illegal, that’s wrong, but if you’re an illegal, that’s wrong – so I guess two wrongs can make a right!” said United States Senator Ted Cruz. “It’s so genius, I wish I had thought of that. Vote for me for President, and I’ll make that the law of the land!”

 

Design & Developed By Open Source Technologies.