WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

Americans who are under the financial strain of repaying student loan debt may now be off the hook for their education costs. President Trump signed a new bill this week releasing any student who has accrued outstanding debt caused by college loans.

“Although certain costs of school are generally offset by private loans, grants, and scholarships, almost every student currently in a 2 or 4-year program has some existing loans with the US government,” said President Trump. “With this new bill, anyone who has taken loans from the federal government, at any point, will no longer be required to pay back those loans.”

Although the bill was signed on Friday afternoon, the program will not begin until the end of 2018, at which point current and former students will begin to see interest and repayment amounts on their loans delete automatically.

With close to $1 billion in net income every year, private lender Sallie Mae has stated that they are not interested in following suit with the governments plan for loan forgiveness.

“We are a private company, and private lenders. We have no interest in forgiving anything. These little fuckers took out the loans, they can pay them back – with interest,” said Carla Edwarton, CEO of Sallie Mae. “Sure, yeah, education is important to us. You know what else is important? Learning about paying back your debts – with interest – or ruining your credit for life. Sorry you chose to pursue a degree in art history, little Johnny. Maybe you should have chosen a major that would make you some money.”