HOLLYWOOD, California –
History is apparently repeating itself for Charlie Sheen. In 1991, the world-famous actor came into possession of a now-popular underground horror film from Japan titled Guinea Pig. The movie, which is graphically violent, depicts acts so real, that the actor believed that he was watching an actual snuff film, with people actually being killed on screen. He turned the film over to the FBI, who after an investigation probably had a good laugh at all the wasted tax dollars once they found out it was staged.
This year, a new version of the film, titled American Guinea Pig, was released after a successful crowdfunding campaign on Indiegogo.com. The new movie, which also features extreme scenes of violence, is set up, as was the original, to appear to be a real snuff film. The movie’s creators – one of whom is a special effects professional who has worked on many films over a long, successful career – purposely made the movie look as realistic as possible to appease a strong following of gore-hound fans.
According to reports, Charlie Sheen was given a burned, ‘bootleg’ copy of the movie on DVD, and was told that it was something real and “very underground.” After watching the film, Sheen reportedly turned the copy over to the FBI, again telling them he believed that he had found a real snuff movie, and that they should investigate.
Thankfully for the filmmakers, FBI investigation has come a long way since 1991, and a quick Google search revealed an IMDb page, crowdfunding campaign, and still images of the movie online. They informed Sheen that he had, once again, been fooled.
“Basically at this point, we are no longer going to be accepting any movies or leads on snuff films from Charlie Sheen,” said FBI director Marshall Givens. “He has proven to us that he cannot tell a movie from real life, and wasted our time, again, on a horror movie. Granted, American Guinea Pig was gory, but come on – it was awesome. Actually, the whole office got together after [Sheen] sent it to us, and we watched it, and we had a great time. Those gore effects were unbelievable. Obviously, there are no real snuff films, or we’d have found them by now. Unless you count Sheen in Terminal Velocity. Now that is some messed up stuff!”
“In 1991 Charlie Sheen was admittedly high as a kite on what he’s said was pounds of pure cocaine, ‘7-gram rocks,’ as he put it – which would be enough to kill a whale. A whale with a serious cocaine problem,” said special investigator on the case, Mark Belson. “Reportedly clean now, we did take his word that it was a real snuff movie this time, but no – he’s still getting easily duped by very realistic special effects and fake blood. Real blood, that is – not tiger’s blood.”
FBI investigators say that the creators of American Guinea Pig will, of course, face no charges for their film.