Seagull Bites Off Man’s Finger After Eating Bag of Cheetos

finger

PORTLAND, Maine –

Brayton Ruddick intends filing a lawsuit against the parent company of Cheetos, Frito-Lay, after losing his finger to a seagull. He was leaving a gas station when he was attacked. Ruddick had been eating a Cheetos, and his fingers were covered with the orange powder, which birds find irresistible.

The bird bit off the tip of his pointer finger and then descended upon the bag he had dropped.

Ruddick says he is very traumatized, as doctors have told him he may never play video games at the same level as before.

“I did not realize the risk I was taking by eating Cheetos. There really should be some kind of warning on the bag. There’s always birds out there circling the dumpsters. If I had known they find Cheetos as addictive as I do, I would have re-thought my snacking decision. My lawyer thinks we have a good case. I met him online in a Call of Duty match. He dominated the entire team, so I think he knows his stuff in court, too.”

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