Woman With Concealed Carry Permit Kills Would-Be Robbers, Saves Multiple Lives

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VIRGINIA – 

A woman in Virginia is being hailed as a local hero after she was able to shoot and kill 3 would-be robbers at a department store in her hometown.

Liza Horris, 36, has had her concealed carry permit for more than a decade, and says she “never goes anywhere” without a weapon.

“In all my years of having and firing guns, I’ve never had to shoot at another person,” said Horris. “I hoped that I never would. But, the reason I carry is to protect myself and others, and that’s just what I had to do.”

According to police reports, Horris was shopping at a local department store when three intruders entered the store, and demanded that people “get on the ground.”

“They were waiving around their guns, and I had no idea if they planned to use them – frankly, I didn’t even think. I just reacted,” said Horris.

Police say that Horris, who is an expert marksman, fired only 3 shots, and killed all 3 of the intruders instantly. There are no charges being filed. Horris’ weapon was confiscated at the scene, and returned to her a few days later.

New Hampshire Town Begins Providing Wooden Stakes To Residents In Case of Vampire Apocalypse

vampire

ALBANY, New Hampshire – 

A small town in New Hampshire has begun leaving sharpened, wooden stakes around the area in case of a vampire outbreak. The stakes are strapped to utility poles or taped to buildings, as town officials say that it is better to be safe, than sorry.

“A vampire outbreak could happen at any time, and without warning,” said Albany town commissioner Thomas Jones. “While other cities, and even the CDC, may be planning for possible outbreak, we want to have all of our bases covered. Providing sharpened wooden stakes to our citizens is the least we can do, and at a very low cost to the town.”

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Jones said that they have, so far, placed over 300 wooden stakes, and at a total cost of only $89 dollars.

“We worked closely with a local furniture builder, who shaped discarded wood for us,” said Jones. “The only cost necessary was the straps used to hold them in place, and the little signs that we printed to provide explanation.”

Jones said that the town has taken “very warmly” to the idea of constant protection, and that it is a much better idea than having people carry around their own weapons.

“I like to think of it in this way,” said Albany resident Valerie Bruce. “I can’t shoot to save my life. I don’t know anyone that can. But I sure as hell can stab away, and if it comes down to it, I’d rather run to a wooden stake and stab a vampire than try to shoot it. More guns cause more problems in the long run. Besides, bullets don’t kill vampires.”

Jones says they will continue to place wooden stakes around town until they feel they are “fully secured,” and then will move on to placing crucifixes and garlic.

2-Year-Old Who Shot Mother In Walmart To Be Tried For Crime As An Adult

HAYDEN, Idaho – toddler shooting

Police and local investigators say that the 2-year-old toddler that fired a gun in an Idaho Walmart store, killing his mother, will be tried as an adult.

On December 30th, police say that a young mother, who was shopping with her children, was killed when her 2-year-old son reached into her purse, and discharged a small-caliber pistol that she had concealed inside. In what police originally considered a tragic accident, the woman died before paramedics could arrive.

Upon further investigation into the shooting, police have decided to arrest the 2-year-old and charge him with first-degree murder, a capital offense in Idaho.

“We strongly believe that this child knew precisely what he was doing when he reached into his mother’s purse and fired that weapon,” said Deputy Chief Joseph Goldsmith. “At this time we will not being discussing what evidence has mounted to lead us to this decision, as a trial will be pending.”

“It’s just awful that this is happening,” said Shaniqu’a Brooks, an employee at the Walmart who witnessed the events. “I saw the entire thing happen, and after she fell to the floor, her son – well, let me just say that the look on his face scared the Hell out of me.”

“If only the woman had not been carrying a concealed weapon, then this never would have happened,” said liberal talk-radio host Gerry Jones. “Only a damn fool carries a loaded weapon into a store, around children and other customers. Was there no safety on her gun? She was quoted as being a ‘responsible gun owner,’ but did she think that in an Idaho Walmart in the middle of the day she might need to shoot someone? Moreover, had her son ever touched it before? Fired it? Is this his first time killing? There are so many questions that need answers. I just hope that during the trial, we see the truth come out.”

Currently, the toddler is being held in an Idaho maximum security facility without bail, but there is reportedly a wonderful playroom with toys and cartoons. A trial date has not yet been set.

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