WASHINGTON, D.C. –
In a surprise change of pace for Donald Trump, the presidential candidate has announced that he’s “completely changed his mind” about immigration, and says that if he is elected president, he plans on opening the country’s borders to all immigrants.
“There is no need to be so picky about who moves to this great country, and paperwork only slows down the process,” said Trump to a gathering of over 75,000 devoted supporters in Mississippi. “When I am elected, the borders will be opened. I was wrong in many of the things I’ve said, and it has just taken me some time to realize my mistakes.”
Many former Trump supporters say they instantly abandoned the candidate when he made his announcements.
“This is an outrage. I was looking forward to more security at the borders, not less,” said former Trump supporter Joe Goldsmith. “I’ve voted for conservatives like Trump my whole life, and they’ve never won. Trump had a chance. He speaks his mind, and people like that. People like me, anyway. Now, this is just absurd.”
“I’m glad he’s changed his opinion of immigrants,” said illegal immigrant from Mexico Jose Marquez. “I think he might be going a little too far just opening the borders all together. I moved here to feel safe, and aside from the constant fear of INS, I’ve felt like I can live here freely. If the borders are opened completely, that might not be the case anymore.”
Donald Trump says that he plans to win this election based on “cold, hard truths,” and that means, sometimes, changing your tune completely.
“I will do whatever it takes to win this election,” said Trump. “Frankly, I’ll dye this wig black if it will get me the votes. I’ll do whatever it takes, say whatever I need to, to get your vote.”