Robin Thicke and Pharrell Among Thousands of Artists Under Fire for ‘Similar Sounding’ Songs

Robin Thicke and Pharrell Among Thousands of Artists Under Fire for 'Similar Sounding' Songs

 

CLEVELAND, Ohio – 

Pop artists beware! After a landmark ruling went against Robin Thicke and Pharrell Williams for making music that sounded vaguely similar to any number of Marvin Gaye songs, thousands of other commercial musicians are under the threat of similar lawsuits. Gaye’s family brought the copyright suit against Thicke and Williams for their track “Blurred Lines,” which the artists say was going for a 70s/80s sound.

The ruling is cause for concern among the commercial music market as, according to Warner Music CEO Stephen Cooper, “all pop music sounds somewhat alike. Nothing completely new has been made in the pop industry for decades. There’s a simple reason for it – certain sounds are what people like, and most of those sounds have already been done at some point since recording music became possible.”

Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars are particularly worried about the verdict. Their massive hit “Uptown Funk” draws heavily on funk music, and any number of the genre’s artists could claim that it sounds sort of similar.

“We were just trying to make a cool song,” said Ronson. “And yes, it didn’t come entirely from a background of knowing absolutely no music that could possibly sound similar to a funk rhythm with repetitive lyrics. But we’re not nearly talented enough for that. Pharrell? He’s even further away from that talent.”

Record companies are already dropping some of the biggest artists of our day. Iggy Azalea has been dropped from her label, for sounding “too much like some black rapper.”  Beyonce has been dropped for sounding “similar in some songs to Janet Jackson.” Jay-Z has been dropped for sounding like Kanye West sometimes. Kanye West has been dropped for sounding like Jay-Z on occasion. And everyone else has been dropped after it was noticed that most of them had drawn on influences from The Beatles, and The Rolling Stones, and other iconic bands.

Nickleback is apparently next in line for court action, as they sound almost exactly like Nickleback did in 1999.

‘Diary of Anne Frank’ Flagged For Plagiarism

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands – ‘Diary of Anne Frank’ Flagged For Plagiarism

The Diary of Anne Frank, required reading for many middle-schoolers since its publication in 1947, was recently flagged for plagiarism, a discovery credited to 12-year old student Hanne Flüvke, who ran the book through an online plagiarism checker.

Through a translator Flüvke said, “We had to write a paper on Anne Frank and how she would be today in society. ‘Would she use Facebook and texting?’ my teacher asked, so I was checking my paper to make sure I wasn’t copying anything another person wrote.”

“Suddenly I became not very happy,” said Flüvke. “I started my report with Justin Bieber when he said he thought Anne Frank would be a ‘Belieber’ and my grandmother said, ‘Remember when I used to read you The Diary of Anne Frank every night when you were just a little girl before I could not see anymore?’” Hanne dug back through her closet and found the well-worn copy of the book her grandmother had read to her as a bedtime story years before.

On a fluke, Flüvke entered passages from Diary into an online copycat detector and found that nearly every passage was flagged for plagiarism. “Everything I entered from my grandmother’s copy of The Diary of Anne Frank showed up as a copy from another book called The Diary of a Young Girl, also published in 1947. I didn’t know which one was the real one, so I called my local newspaper to help me find out.”

“The little child was right!” said Johannes Bleek, editor of Amsterdam’s Daily Chronicler. “Everything matched. I don’t know how people could have overlooked such a thing as this before! Perhaps they let it go since the story was so sad about the little girl.”

The Supreme Court of the Netherlands (Hoge Raad der Nederlanden) ruled last week that The Diary of Anne Frank was indeed directly sourced – without credit – from The Diary of A Young Girl, and that proper royalty payments owed to the Frank family would have to be recalculated.  The Court also ruled that any unauthorized use of the former book would make violators liable for prosecution under international law.

“I didn’t want to start any troubles,” said Flüvke. “I just wanted to write a paper, so now I don’t know what to do. Maybe I’ll write about Justin Bieber if I made believe he was locked up in the attic and I rescued him, which I hope never happens to him someday because I want to marry him.”

Bleek published an editorial urging citizens to burn unauthorized copies of The Diary of Anne Frank in the town square. The date of the public book burning will be set after the editor secures the necessary public fire department permits.

HASBRO Threatens ISIS With Lawsuit, Claims Copyright Infringement

PAWTUCKET, Rhode Island – HASBRO Threatens ISIS With Lawsuit, Claims Copyright Infringement3

In a press release from international toy company Hasbro, company executives say that are ‘strongly considering’ a lawsuit against militant terrorist group ISIS, who the company says have ‘stolen the look and nature’ of G.I. Joe characters COBRA.

“For decades, G.I. Joe have been the ‘Real American Heroes,’ and they have fought against their nemesis COBRA, a group of violent terrorists who often wear hooded masks while performing their heinous tasks,” said George Prime, legal spokesman for HASBRO. “With the recent media coverage of the soulless terrorist group ISIS in Iraq and Syria, we were able to get a rather good look at their wardrobe, and we couldn’t believe that they’d resign to using COBRA costumes.”

HASBRO has owned the creative rights to G.I. Joe since 1964, and the toy line has seen many iterations, including action figures, a Saturday morning cartoon, and more recently, a series of feature films.

“Throughout all of it, though, we have owned the rights to names and likenesses, and that includes dark, hooded masks, at least when they are being used in a terrorist or menacing nature,” said Prime.

The company has sent an ultimatum to ISIS leaders to change their look, or they will bring legal action.

ISIS, short for the militant group named Islamic State in Iraq and Syria, have been waging an offensive that have seen large chunks of Northern Iraq fall out of government hands. ISIS is an al Qaeda splinter group that wants to establish an Islamic state that would stretch from Iraq into northern Syria.

“In the G.I. Joe world, COBRA is run by an evil, shadowy figure aptly named Cobra Commander. In the real world, ISIS is also run by a shadowy operative, and although it is not 100% known if he partakes in the same dark headwear often, one can only assume that he’s taking cues directly from our action figure line. We at HASBRO can only hope that they are, because in the end that means those monstrous sons of bitches will be quickly dispatched by real military heroes.”

HASBRO says that they have sent multiple messages to try to meet with ISIS leaders, but to no avail.

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