NEW YORK –
It has now been confirmed by an anonymous staffer on the Clinton campaign, that Hillary broke debate rules by wearing a secret ear-piece so that she could be fed information on the fly.
“Because of her failing health, we were extremely worried about the answers she might give, or that she would get confused about the questions,” said the staffer. “Yes, the internet is right – she is, of course, wearing a mic pack under her jacket, as was Trump. But tied into that, we also were able to wire in a thin, flesh-colored ear piece so that we could feed her the answers.”
According to the staffer, whose story has been confirmed by at least 3 other members of the Clinton campaign, Hillary hired a team of more than 20 people to sit at a remote location just about a mile away from the debates, where they were watching both via cable and live feed, and could prompt her with responses as needed, as well as pull up information “in which to bash the hell out of Trump.”
So far, the Hillary camp has not commented on the ear-piece, or given any response to the internet firestorm.
NEW YORK –
FBI investigators have confirmed that a large-scale terrorist threat was thwarted on Monday evening, only a short time before presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump were scheduled to take the stage to begin one of the most historic debates of our time.
According to FBI spokesman Mario Givens, an unnamed Caucasian man, who “pledged his allegiance” to ISIS, had made his way through security at the event, and was planning to detonate a large bomb.
“The man, whose name we are currently not releasing, was able to make his way through security with a suitcase, which is supposed to be strictly forbidden at these events,” said Givens. “We were able to stop the attempted massacre thanks to the quick-thinking and efforts of an incredible police and security detail.”
Donald Trump was quoted as saying that he was “extremely grateful” for the work done by the security teams at the event, and that he is hopeful for a much safer future.
“It’s clear that anyone looking to bomb this event, they were doing it because of Hillary,” said Trump. “Obviously her supporters are whackos, and these people, these whackos, they usually don’t get the upper hand. The police, FBI, and my private security did an amazing job tonight.”
WASHINGTON, D.C. –
Donald Trump on Friday said he would not debate Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders because it would be “inappropriate” to square off against the candidate who currently trails Hillary Clinton in the Democratic primary fight. Trump initially agreed to do the interview, and then changed his mind numerous times in the span of a few days.
Sanders calls Trump a liar. Trump responded by saying, “Oh, Crazy Ol’ Bernie, don’t listen to him and his so called logic.” Trump went on to say, “I did not decide to debate with Bernie because as a business man I don’t agree to a deal where I don’t come out ahead. My supporters don’t care about things like debates. What speaks to my supporters is good old fashioned blood, and I’d knock that old Jew into next week.”
Political analyst Eugune Scott told CNN, “I didn’t think he’d [Trump] fare very well in a fight with Sanders. Plus, do we really need anymore proof what a barbaric ignoramus Trump is?”
NEW YORK CITY, New York –
During a heated debate in New York, democratic front-runners Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders had few things to say to each other that were pleasant, with Sanders being voted as the ‘winner’ of the debate in online polls, and Clinton being called the victor by TV talking heads.
What the talking heads seem to ignore, but what the internet is in a firestorm over, is Clinton’s use of a sarcastic, vile slur that was hurled at Sanders when she thought the mics were not on. According to people sitting in the front row of the debate, during a commercial break, Clinton leaned over to Sanders, and whispered that she would never let a “socialist fag-lover” like him win the election.
“If you think that I’m going to let a socialist fag-lover like you win this election, you’re out of your mind,” said Clinton allegedly, according to those in attendance.
Sanders, true to form as a gentleman and the more secure candidate, has refused to comment or confirm that Clinton said anything negative towards him, or used any sort of slur during the debates.
“Hillary Clinton is a fine woman who would make a great leader of this country if she had more experience,” said Sanders. “I am proud to love all people, of all races, creed, color, or orientation. That’s who I am, and that’s what I’m taking to the White House.”