WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

When espionage convict Bradley Manning became Chelsea Manning, it made headlines in all the major news outlets. Of course, the cause of the biggest leak of confidential documents transitioning into a woman was a human interest story, especially because it seemed so rare. But it turns out that many male prisoners have now latched onto the process as an excuse to escape the dangerous confines of their own prisons into the supposedly friendlier halls of a female penitentiary.

“There is a growing trend of male criminals undergoing hormone treatment and sex change operations, and anonymous surveys show that they’re doing it as a way out,” said expert on prisoner psychology, Jason Brent. “It totally undermines those who are really women inside, and sincerely want to be true to themselves. And it shows that our prison system is not doing its duty by showing [female prison drama] Orange is the New Black.”

Male prisoners appear to believe that female prisons are all about sleepovers and pillow fights.

“I’m totally over the knife fights. I want something more soft and friendly,” John Huewy, a convicted murderer, told reporters. “I’m so excited to go there, make new besties, and play dress up.”

Prison warders say that they are relieved that the less aggressive prisoners are leaving the ‘real men’ to fight like they’re supposed to.

“The pushovers are such a drag,” said one. “We like to see fights to the death, not someone lie down and take what is given with no struggle at all.”

But female wardens and prisoners are not happy about the flux.

“We don’t want those men fucking with the system,” Hillary Hardy of Massachusetts State Penitentiary said. “It’s unfair to all of us, prisoners and staff. Plus, our chicks are badass. They’s gonna beat those male sissy motherfuckers into shit.”