3-Year-Old Boy Runs Into Grandmother’s Burning Apartment Complex, Saves Peppa Pig DVDs

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3-Year-Old Boy Runs Into Grandmother's Burning Apartment Complex, Saves Peppa Pig DVD's

 

BUNSONTOWN, Indiana –

Three-Year-Old toddler Kain Harrison of Bunsontown, Indiana is being hailed as a hero after courageously running into a burning Woody Acres apartment complex to wake his 52-year-old grandmother, Sandra Clemens, who was asleep during the blaze.

Witnesses say the boy had been playing outside in the snow, building an igloo with three homeless men, when they noticed smoke pouring from the roof of the building in which he had been staying with his grandmother. Harrison had been staying at the home following his mother’s arrest for possession and intent to distribute heroin inside an elementary school.

Leroy Johnson, 62, one of the homeless men the boy had befriended, said that once everybody saw smoke and flames, they knew it was too late to run inside.

“I been on this here Earth for a long time, longer than I can remember, and I never seen anything like that in my damn life!” Johnson said. “That little Kain, I tell ya that boy is something else, you know like Batman or something. It is not normal. Anyway Lil K-Roo took off running and we just let him go. He ran inside, at this point the flames were flying out the damn windows, so we thought, well he is cooked.”

“Few minutes go by, and then I tell ya, by the grace of the good Lord up in the mountains, here he comes strutting out, an armful of DVDs,” said the other homeless man, Gary Shidder. “For real, he ran in there and got his damned ole Peppa Pig DVDs. That boy is something else, he derserves a Purple Heart or something ya know?” Johnson said as he remained engaged in describing the wild scene.

Police say that Clemens, who was a sound sleeper, was not able to make it out of the apartment, and was killed. The Peppa Pig DVDs were saved, and according to reports, still play fine.

Bin Laden Shooter Rob O’Neill Mistakenly Attacked By Street Thugs Seeking To Collect Debt From Neighbor

BUTTE, Montana – Bin Laden Shooter Rob O'Neill Mistakenly Attacked By Street Thugs Seeking To Collect Debt From Neighbor

Robert O’Neill, the former United States Navy SEAL who shot and killed Osama Bin Laden, had his home mistakenly invaded by members of a street gang this morning shortly after 1AM. O’Neill was uninjured, the five intruders all suffered injuries and remain hospitalized, but are expected to make a full recovery. Their names were not released in anticipation of the oncoming media storm.

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Butte Police Commissioner Bartholomew S. Harrington told members of the Associated Press in a brief press conference that the five men, part of a local street gang connected with the infamous Crips, were seeking to collect on a drug debt and invaded the wrong house, with the intended target just so happening to be the next door neighbor of O’Neill’s.

“Mr. O’Neill had just turned in for the night, but was awoken by a loud crash when his backdoor was abruptly kicked in. As the five thugs ran aimlessly through the home, Mr. O’Neill used silent hand-to-hand combat tactics to individually disarm them of their weapons.  Once Mr. O’Neill had taken down the five men and secured his home, he brewed a pot of coffee and called the police station. Those boys sure did find the wrong house!” commissioner Harrington said as he chuckled.

O’Neill had little to say on the matter when Butte Daily Times journalist Kevin Williamson interviewed the celebrated war hero.

“It was nothing really. Those kids didn’t have their mission planned out properly and hit the wrong target. I hated to break their wrists and dislocate each of their knees like I did, but it was necessary in order to immobilize the invasion. I hope they get the money that is owed to them once they get out of jail and decide to live better lives. My main concern is getting my back door fixed. Those boys really did a number on the door jamb,” O’Neill stated.

The neighbor who was the intended target seems to have abandoned home and has not been found by police. According to the men in custody, the debt was over a $50 bag of marijuana.

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