Doctors Say Michael Jackson’s Amazing Singing Voice Was Result Of Years of Steroid Injections

GARY, Indiana – Shocking Secret to Michael Jackson’s Vocal Talent Revealed

For music critics, Michael Jackson’s impressive vocal range during his adult career has long been a point of contention – specifically how little it had changed since he left The Jackson 5 at the age of eleven. But the mystery may now be solved.

This morning, the King of Pop’s autopsy results quickly went viral after hackers accessed the UCLA Medical Center database, revealing that as a child, Jackson was regularly injected with glucocorticoids for minor asthma. According to a close friend of the Jackson family, his father Joe administered the drug himself, in excessive doses to preserve his son’s singing ability, with an unfortunate side effect – chemical castration.

After turning 18, Jackson halted treatments. But the damage was done. The drug apparently caused a failure to go through puberty and a lack of testosterone production.

“These findings do explain how Jackson’s voice failed to develop, as well as the absence of body hair,” said Jackson’s former physician and cardiologist Conrad Murray. “That man was devoid of hair from head to toe. It was actually really creepy.”

According to self-proclaimed Psychology expert, Anne Landers, “Paired with his Vitiligo, one can see how the pain of what was done to him led to severe body dysmorphic disorder. Just look at the obvious addiction to plastic surgery.” Jackson is known to have had at least 30 cosmetic surgeries, starting at the age of 13. “The hormonal changes are also known to cause gender identity problems, which explains his efforts to surgically feminize his face, as well as his androgynous appearance, effeminate disposition, and nurturing feelings toward children.”

Long-time friend Reverend Jessie Jackson responded to Landers’ assessment, saying that he completely agreed. “I knew he didn’t hurt those children! Maternal instinct is what it was. That beautiful man wanted to be their mama! People are disgusting to make up those lies about him hurting kids. I would have let him by my mama if I had only know how much pain he was in.”

Seeming to imply that Jackson was indeed chemically castrated, former nurse and ex-wife Debbie Rowe commented, saying “How stupid are people? Why do you think we always covered the kids’ faces? Those brats are whiter than a Klu Klux Klan convention. We even had to dye their hair brown.”

The Jackson family declined to comment.

 

DNA Results Confirm Michael Jackson Is Biological Father Of Bruno Mars

NEW YORK, New York – DNA Results Confirm Michael Jackson Is Biological Father Of Bruno Mars

Vladimir Kershov, publicist of R&B singer Bruno Mars, has been fired today after he revealed a shocking secret regarding the pop and R&B singer. Kershov leaked private information that revealed that Michael Jackson is Mars’ biological father.

In a statement emailed to news and media outlets across the world, Kershov revealed that he was told by the singer that DNA testing had proven that Jackson, known across the world as the King of Pop, was without a doubt his biological father. After pleading with Mars, born under the name Peter Hernandez, to go public with the revelation, Mars refused to do so. Kershov insisted that it be made known to the public, and that the news would catapult the singer’s fame and boost record sales. Mars remained adamant that the information not be released. According to Kershov, he then took it upon himself and emailed the shocking news to media sources all over the world.

“DNA testing has proven that Michael Jackson is the biological father of Bruno Mars,” Kershov said in the statement. “Against his wishes, I have decided to relay this message for the greater good and betterment of Bruno’s life and extravagant music career.”

In a statement released by Mars’ new publicist, Jacqueline Pryor, it has been announced that Kershov was immediately fired by the singer, and may seek legal action against his former publicist. “The job of a publicist is indeed to better the career of their clients by persuading them to take part in things that cause their popularity to grow, however, the client must trust their publicist. The artist has the final say, no matter what.”

When asked about the validity of Kershov’s statement, Pryor surprisingly made it clear that the information is accurate. “It is true. Doesn’t mean he was right in saying so, but it is true. When it comes to 29-year-old Bruno Mars, Michael Jackson is the father!”

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