New Mother Nurses Abandoned Kittens With Her Own Breast Milk

TORONTO, Ontario, Canada –

Sharon Carswell says she recently became a surrogate mom to three abandoned kittens. “Mommy just left them there like trash in a cardboard box. So I rescued them. Kitten formula is more expensive than baby formula, and I figured breast is always best, so I tried it, and they seem to like it.”

As her nipples were too large, the kittens were unable to nurse from her breast directly, so according to Carswell, she fed them her breast milk with an eye-dropper. Because her new baby, Killian, and the kitties were nurse mates, she says they now share a unique bond.

“There’s a real bond between my baby and the cats. Seeing them playing with balls of yarn or gumming on sardines together is the most precious thing,” Carswell says, although she does admit that reactions have been mixed. “Some people are grossed out and shocked, others are in awe and proud. I am saving kittens with my breastmilk, and it’s amazing.”

LOUISVILLE, Kentucky –

A selective breeder from Kentucky has said that he has successfully combined the internet’s two most popular animals – the sloth and the cat – into one extremely cute animal.

“It took many years of genetic research, and plenty of time and effort,” said animal breeder Jeremy Richards. “Not to mention trying to entice a sloth to have sex with a cat. That was not easy. In the end, though, it’s all been worth it, because I’ve finally been able to breed a new animal, which I have dubbed the Slitten. Or, possible, the Cloth. I haven’t decided.”

Richards says he has been working on creating the “internet’s perfect animal” for the better part of 10 years.

“I’ve had success in the past combining rabbits and cats, cats and chickens, goats and beavers, all sorts of animals,” said Richards. “This is the first time, though, I was able to work with an exotic animal like a sloth.”

Richards says that he made the animal “purely for show,” and that he would not be selling them.

“I just want people to be able to admire them, but I don’t know their temperament or anything yet, so for now, they stay with me.”