Anonymous Source Says Ronda Rousey Was Paid To Take Dive, Lose To Holly Holm

Posted on November 18, 2015 by Bob The Empire News Potato

SYDNEY, Australia –

Former Bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey may have been paid to take a dive during her UFC 193 championship fight, according to anonymous sources.

In a letter that was sent to ESPN offices, a person alleges that he paid millions to have the fight between the two women fixed, saying that he bet big money on Holly Holm, who was at 6-1 odds of losing the bout, and even after an alleged payoff, made $10 million on the fight.

“I have proof that I fixed the championship fight between Rousey and Holm at UFC 193,” read the letter, delivered from an anonymous gmail email account. “I made a substantial amount of money that night, over $10M. I paid Rousey $4M. She wanted to take time off anyway, and she knew it was a great offer.”

According to UFC officials, the fight was completely on the level, although fans weren’t so sure.

“Rousey fought like shit, like there was no way she was going to win, no matter how hard she tried,” said a UFC fan. “Holm? Who the hell is she anyway? It’s crazy that she was able to win against a woman whose last 10 fights had a combined time of one minute. I definitely think there was a fix.”

Representatives for the UFC organization say they are “looking into” the allegations.

Man Sues Dating Website, Says ‘My Perfect Matches Are Always Black’

Posted on December 3, 2014 by JP

CHARLOTTE, North Carolina –

A Charlotte man has filed a lawsuit against a popular online dating site, citing his ‘extreme unhappiness’ with the results the website had been giving him. Gil Green, age 33, claims that all of the ‘perfect matches’ recommended to him through the site were African-American.

“I want to find myself a nice white woman and the site couldn’t get that straight,” said Green. “It isn’t fair to me at all that they would assume that I’m into black girls. I put in all my own information, and what I was looking for in a girl, and every time I checked who it matched me with, it was some dark-skinned broad.”

Green is claiming that the website was ‘deliberately sabotaging’ his love life, and that is why he was filing suit.

“I’m just a simple man, and I’m trying to find a wife, or at least a couple good dates, maybe a couple of blowjays, you know? But no mater how many times computer tells me my perfect match is black, I can’t just settle on that,” said Green. “It’s not a racist thing, I’ve met black people before. Some of them are even pretty cool. I just don’t find black women attractive. I’m sure plenty of black women don’t find me attractive. I shouldn’t have to change my standards to find a date on the internet.”

Green’s lawyer, Joe Goldsmith, Esq., who filed the suit in a North Carolina Superior Court, said he thinks that Green has ‘no chance in hell’ of ever winning the case.

“I only took this case for the money, my practice is struggling, and whatever pays the bills, you know?” said Goldsmith. “Mr. Green seems to be really confused about the internet and online dating in general, because the website he is filing suit against is ‘blackpeoplemeet.com’. Obviously his matches are going to be African-American. Frankly, Mr. Green is an idiot, and quite possibly a bigot.”

Representatives of blackpeoplemeet.com have yet to comment on the lawsuit, except to say that they “assume the outcome of the case will be a no-brainer.”

UFC Fighter Punches Himself In The Face, Gets Knocked Out During Bout

Posted on August 16, 2014 by JP

BANGOR, Maine –

A UFC fighter has set a new record for being the only person ever to knock himself out during a fight. The event took place Friday, August 15, 2014 during a preliminary fight in Bangor, Maine. This was fighter Ryan Crystler’s debut in the UFC, and although coming in as a favorite from the independent circuit, left a rather embarrassing first impression for a lot of people who witnessed the event live.

Crystler appeared that he had the fight won during the first round, throwing punch after punch to his opponent, and landing some real heavy blows. Things unfortunately took a turn for Crystler during round two, when a punch he threw bounced of his competitor’s face, and he ended up slamming himself in the chin, ending the bout.

When Crystler woke up from being knocked out, he still attempted to fight. The referee had to make it clear that the fight was over because of the knockout. Crystler’s opponent, Frankie Saenz, looked just as shocked as he did when the fight was called.

“I was taking some punches to the face, and then the fight was just over. I didn’t realize he hit himself, so at first I thought they were calling the fight because I was getting slammed on,” said Saenz. “I couldn’t believe that I won until I saw him laying there, his lip all busted open. He was out for the count. I honestly had to stifle a laugh.”

Due to the craziness of this fight, Dana White and a committee with the UFC are under discussion to how to call the bout. While technically being a knockout, they don’t want to reward Saenz with the KO because he wasn’t the one who performed the punch. They are also unsure whether to mark it as a knockout for Crystler, or whether to count it as a loss.