Pacquiao, Mayweather Take Jabs At Each Other Via Social Media

MIAMI, Florida –

Two of the highest paid athletes in the world are all set to meet glove-to-glove in the ring. There have been rumors of this fight happening for several months, and after all the drama, the contracts, and the disappointments, fans can finally prepare themselves to see these two settle it in the ring.

The high-profile fight reportedly began to take shape last year, when friends of Floyd “Money” Mayweather began mercilessly teasing him, claiming that he would never take a fight with Pacquiao because he knew that he would lose. Apparently, Mayweather took this as a challenge, a blow to his ego that rattled his cage enough to agree to get in the ring.

“I’m not afraid of anyone,” says Mayweather via Facebook. “I will step in the ring with King Kong himself, and I’d whoop that monkey’s ass, too. They say money can’t buy you happiness, but I tell you what – I’ll feel extremely happy when I get the extreme amounts of cash from this fight purse. In no way, shape, or form will Manny be able to stand toe-to-toe with me.”

It appears that Mayweather has it in his head already that the fight is in the bag, and he should breeze though it as if it was just any punk off of the street. This may or may not be the case, but in Pacquiao’s eyes, the outcome of the fight will be completely different.

“I’m going to punch him in the face until he can’t get up,” said Pacquiao via Instagram, being as literal as possible in his description of the fight. “I will hit him with my left fist, then I will hit him with that same left fist. Then perhaps a right fist. Eventually, when he is down, I will laugh in his face. Wait and see. All his money, it won’t be able to save him in the ring. Well, maybe he can use a $100 bill to wipe away the blood and tears.”

“Blood and tears? That sonofa—. You know what I’ll use that $100 bill for?” Said Mayweather, in response via Twitter. “I’m going to use that $100 bill to buy a box of tissues, probably Kleenex brand, because they’re way softer than money for wiping away tears. Also, I’ll expect at least $97 in change from that $100, and I’ll put that back in the bank. Can’t be too careful in this economy.”

The full fight card has not yet been announced, but the pay-per-view planning stages are underway.

LAS VEGAS, Nevada –

Actor, Author, ex-con, cartoon star, and former heavyweight champion of the world Mike Tyson is getting a comeback title shot next month at the ripe old age of 48. Current champ Wladimir Kitschko is putting his three title belts on the line to fight the aging Tyson in what will be sure to be a major pay-for-view event for fans, as well as a big payday for both fighters.

“I mean who the hell is Wladimir Kits…Kitsco…kitty cats, anyway?” asked Mike Tyson to a room of reporters trying desperately to stifle their laughs. ”I had to Google it, ’cause I had no idea who this chump champ was. Boxing needs me, ain’t nobody have to Google Mike Tyson. I’ve got the most recognizable face in sports, maybe the world, and that was even before the face tattoo. I still got it. Shit, I’m not even training for this one. Just watch. I’ll knock his ass down in one punch.”

Insider reports say that the fight could net Tyson a near $5 million payday, win or lose.

“Yeah, you know, I don’t even wanna fight that bad. It’s not that I can’t, I just don’t care. But I do care about that money, baby,” said Tyson. “I need to make it now, and not piss it all away like last time. That cartoon show money isn’t going to come rolling in forever.”

”My man Iron Mike is back, and the world of boxing has suffered in his absence,” said legendary boxing promoter Don King. “No one cares about boxing anymore, all you hear about is the mixed martial arts. It’s sad when two men hugging each other on a mat is more popular than boxing. That’s why me and Mike have come out of retirement. Don’t listen to Mike when he says it’s for the money – heck, after my 70% off the top he won’t have much left anyway. This fight, it’s about pride in the sport. Pride in America. It’s about showing age is just a number and you’re never to old to achieve your dreams. And yeah, okay, it’s about the money too.”