FDA To Ban Fentanyl After Prince’s Overdose

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

The powerful opiate fentanyl may be taken off the market following the death of Prince as well as the increase in opiate drug deaths across the nation. A bill may change fentanyl to a schedule I drug, meaning that it is both highly addictive and has no legitimate medical use. Other schedule I drugs include heroin, LSD, and marijuana. Fentanyl is currently a schedule II drug, meaning that while there is danger of abuse, it can be prescribed under controlled conditions.

“It’s clear the fentanyl is out of our control, ”argues bill sponsor, Representative Marcy Kaptur. “Deaths are up 500% in Ohio. They have tripled in last year.” Supporters of the bill argue that the drug is just too strong. Fentanyl is 50 times more potent than heroin and 100 times more than morphine.

Fentanyl is used to manage moderate to severe pain, usually in people who have chronic pain, and as a last resort. Fentanyl is often used when other pain medicines no longer work.

“Yeah, a few cancer patients might not get their fentanyl fix, but we can’t afford to lose any more pop sensations. They are the glue that keeps this country together. Didn’t Michael Jackson die from this stuff? Well, maybe it was his time. He was a little sick. But Prince – that great man had even turned to the lord,” says Mothers Against Drug Addicts (MADA) member, Tracy Leveque. “Junkies are one thing. They’re pretty well useless. But when a beloved musician or actor overdoses, it’s time to change the legislation.”

Prince Reveals Shocking Truth About His Hair

Prince Reveals Shocking Truth About His Hair

LOS ANGELES, California – 

The artist formerly known as “The Artist Formerly Known As Prince” has revealed the truth about his hair – and it will shock his hordes of fans. He is actually a natural blonde. Yes, you heard that correctly – Prince is a natural blonde.

“I’m not ashamed of it,” he said in an exclusive interview with Empire News. “It’s haunted me my whole life. When my momma saw I had blonde hair – and I had a big bush of it when I came into the world – she screamed in horror. She didn’t know what to do, having had a black baby with blonde hair.”

Once she came to terms with the fact that it was a genetic defect, Prince’s mother, Mattie Della, decided never to let her son out in public without having his hair dyed to a perfect black.

“Every morning she’d wash my hair in black dye, and not even I knew at first that I wasn’t a natural. She didn’t think I’d be able to take the news. But when I was five years old, she thought I’d better hear it from her, rather than waking up from a hair growth spurt and realizing I had blonde roots.”

Prince later took on the responsibility of treating his own hair.

“It simply became a part of my routine. For most kids, bathing and brushing teeth and hair is what they must do in the morning. I just had that little extra task of keeping my identity in tact.”

When he became a professional artist, he considered letting his true roots out, as his identity was already flamboyant and idiosyncratic.

“I could’ve told the world I was blonde, but I thought I’d wait until a time when I wasn’t successful – when I needed something to gain more publicity. That time never came, so I decided I might as well come out with it now. After all, my popularity has peaked and stabilized. I’ll never need to resort to stunts.”

Design & Developed By Open Source Technologies.