FDA Bans Blue Dye No. 1 After Discovering It Causes Cancer

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

The FDA has announced blue dye No. 1 will be phased out of US markets by the end of 2018. The popular dye is used to color everything from blue M&Ms to Listerine.

The dye is a byproduct of coal, and is referred to as a “brilliant blue.” Typical of modern dyes, blue number 1 was originally derived from coal tar, although most manufacturers now make it from an oil base. The Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI) and other advocacy organizations have long argued that these and other artificial colorings may be linked to attention deficit disorder, and now the dye has been determined to be carcinogenic.

“We have decided that it is best to ban blue dye No. 1 from all consumer products,” said FDA spokesman Bill Hicks. “At this time, though, it is only linked to mild cancers, like finger cancer or maybe toe cancer, so it’s not going to be removed from market immediately. We are allowing ample time for manufacturers to use the dye they may have already purchased before working on new ways to dye their products.”

LOS ANGELES, California –

The Dr. Oz Show, which has run for 6 seasons, is reportedly being pulled from syndication lineups after the 2016 season, according to the show’s producers.

The series, which stars Dr. Mehmet Oz, who got famous appearing on The Oprah Winfrey Show, features Dr. Oz discussing current medical issues, as well as having guest appearances. The series, a favorite amongst old and naive people, held strong ratings for most of its run, although a slew of controversy over the years has dipped ratings.

“The problem is, more than half of what Dr. Oz talks about is just straight-up bullshit,” said Dr. Emmett Brown, a physician in Atlanta. “I am so glad that he is finally being taken off the air. Studies have been done on the lies and misinformation he has spread, and it is painful. His information, which often seems to stem from companies paying to have their products features, could cause people to become violently ill, or even die. It’s amazing he’s lasted this long.”

Dr. Oz reportedly sees himself as an impartial advocate, giving out as much information as he can on different topics, ranging from diabetes to cancer, and everything in between.

“Unfortunately, he doesn’t seem to know much about the topics he covers,” said Dr. Brown. “He is an actual M.D., but I cannot figure out why anyone would listen to his wild misinformed statements. A simple Google search can tell you that 54% of his medical recommendations are not actually supported by fact.”

Producers for the show say that they are actually “relieved” that it will no longer be aired.

“We were in constant fear of some wrongful death lawsuit after a cancer patient gave up treatment to just eat cantaloupe, or whatever nonsense Dr. Oz would spout on the air,” said an anonymous producer. “We’re just really glad we can move on to real entertainment production now, and not crazy medical fiction and company-sponsored medical lies.”