Mountain Dew To No Longer Sponsor Auto Racing After Multiple Teen Deaths


PURCHASE, New York –

After two teen deaths due to ingestion of Mountain Dew mixed with racing fluid, Pepsi-Co will be pulling all racing sponsorships. Cars affected will include Dale Earnhardt Jr, Kasey Kahne, and rookie Chase Elliot.

Racing fluid, used in drag racing, is made up of almost 100% methanol, a non-drinkable form of alcohol used for industrial and automotive purposes. Teens drink it to get an alcohol buzz, and initially, methanol can give the same effects as ethanol. This progresses to symptoms ranging from blurred vision, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea to seizures, blindness, coma and death, depending on the amount and concentration of the methanol that was consumed.

Hendrick Motorsports recently announced a three-year extension of PepsiCo’s longstanding partnership with the organization. They have agreed to rebrand the cars with Pepsi Max logos, which because of the artificial sugar, does not taste good with racing fuel.

Pepsi-Co warns kids not go to the measures of desperate alcoholics to get drunk. Racing fluid, antifreeze, and windshield wiper fluid should never be consumed.

“I thought most teens just stole booze from their parents or got someone’s older brother to buy beer – I mean hell, that’s what we did in my day,” said Pepsico spokesman Joe Goldsmith. “Or you know what they could do instead? They could just drink Pepsi brand soft drinks. There’s nothing cooler than hanging out with friends and enjoying a tall glass of refreshing Pepsi Cola or Mountain Dew.”

New Eco-Friendly Laws Could Force NASCAR To Race Solely With Electric Vehicles

DAYTONA BEACH, Florida – New Eco-Friendly Laws Could Force NASCAR To Race Solely With Electric Vehicles

Die hard NASCAR fans are not going to happy with a new eco-friendly law that is circulating in congress. The new law, House Act E.205, states that any car being used for entertainment purposes would have to be electrical. This means that NASCAR, monster trucks, demolition derbies, and others, would all have to switch to electric vehicles.

The NASCAR organization has taken steps over the last several years into researching and building their own electric cars, which would make them set and ready to race eco-friendly if the law passes. Regardless of the law and its outcome, though, NASCAR insiders say it’s very possible that fans could start seeing all-electric, eco-friendly cars being raced, at least in minor circuits.

“It’s fun to see cars that go 200 mph around a track in a circle for hours and hours, but that takes a lot of fuel,” said NASCAR pit-crew leader Joe Goldsmith. “The new electric cars, they’ll be going maybe 60 to 75 mph, so the thrill won’t be there, but we’ll be saving the environment, and that’s a wonderful thing, or at least that’s what they’re telling me to say.”

NASCAR fans are naturally outraged by the news or such a major impending change to their beloved sport, and many have been taking to social media, leaving heated comments on the NASCAR Facebook and Twitter pages.

“This is America! We like to waste as many natural resources as possible for the good of entertainment!” Posted Aaron Silver, of Atlanta, to the NASCAR Facebook page. “Next you’ll be telling me what I can and can’t eat during the races. F— that, I’ll eat all the damn Doritos I want, and ya’ll won’t stop me!”

“It’s shifting gears, and drinking beers! Not pushing a button, and hoping for something,” said Jeff Lorde, of Topeka. His comment on the NASCAR Twitter page had over 600 retweets.

NASCAR representatives say that even if the changes are inevitable, the sport would not suffer entirely.

“In the end we’ll still be serving beer at all our events, so whether the cars race at 70 mph or at 200 mph, you’ll still be able to get just as drunk as always,” said Goldsmith. “If that isn’t what racing is all about, then I don’t know what is.”

NASCAR Driver Falls Asleep at Wheel, 22 Injured

DAYTONA BEACH, Florida – NASCAR Driver Falls Asleep at Wheel, 22 Injured

During a NASCAR race in Daytona on Friday afternoon, 22 people were injured after new driver Mark Hardy fell asleep and crashed during a straightaway. Reports say the people who were injured consisted mostly of employees of the track.

Hardy walked away with no serious injuries, but says the situation is bitter-sweet.

“I am happy to be alive, of course but I feel terrible that others got hurt,” said Hardy. “It’s also hard, because I was in second place. I could have won the whole thing if I had just gotten some sleep the night before.”

Hardy says the crash was caused because he fell asleep at the wheel. He claimed that he didn’t sleep well because he was too nervous and excited about his first ‘big’ race, and that after driving left in a circle for so many miles during the race, it was a wonder he even stayed awake as long as he did.

“Anyone who is driving that long, going nowhere, you could tend to get drowsy,” said Hardy. “Think of it from a fan’s perspective. If you’re watching at home, there’s no way you’re not taking a nap midway through the event, right? It’s not any different for a driver.”

Strangely enough, it appears from video reviewed after the accident that Hardy was asleep for two laps before crashing.

“I remember my eyes getting really heavy, and then nothing for a bit, but I could still hear the noise of the other racers whizzing past me. I must have been driving on auto-pilot, basically. I remember being almost startled awake, and when I jumped, my leg hit the steering wheel and launched me off the track,” said Hardy.

According to hospital reports, all 22 people were, amazingly, treated and released, suffering minor injuries, with the biggest being a broken wrist. Hardy will be fined for racing in a state that NASCAR ‘unfit’ for driving.


NASCAR: Tony Stewart To Announce Retirement From Auto Racing After Accident That Kills Competing Driver

CHARLOTTE, North Carolina – NASCAR- Tony Stewart To Announce Retirement From Auto Racing After Accident That Kills Competing Driver

NASCAR Insiders Rusty Wallace and Darrell Waltrip have informed the Associated Press that three-time Sprint Cup Champion Tony Stewart will hold a press conference in the coming days, and is expected to announce his retirement from all auto racing activities, as well as announcing the sale of his half of his ownership of Stewart-Haas Racing. The announcement comes after Stewart tragically struck and killed fellow sprint car driver Kevin Ward, Jr.

“This was a tragic accident, one he just can’t get over. I talked with Tony yesterday and he made it clear, he is done with racing. I tried to suggest to him to take time off and think it over for a few months, he told me he has made up his mind and will announce soon. I hope he changes his mind, but it sure sounded like he meant it,” said former NASCAR champion and Hall of Fame member Rusty Wallace.

According to Waltrip, he talked to Stewart for hours the night after the accident and again two days ago, and he says Stewart has been grieving more and more after the initiative shock.

“The man hasn’t slept for days, this has rocked his world harder than anything he has ever had to deal with. He told me he could never effectively get back in a race car and drive. He can barely bring himself to drive his Ford Taurus to the supermarket and back without cringing. I expect an announcement in the next few days, he is just working on what he is going to say to the fans and most importantly the father of the victim, Kevin Ward, Sr.,” Waltrip told NASCAR reporter Nicole Briscoe via telephone interview last night.

Ward, 20, had climbed out of his Sprint car during a dirt race in Canadaigua, N.Y., and he walked toward Stewart’s car during a caution, and while gesturing to him was struck and killed by the car Stewart was driving. Ward was pronounced dead on his way to the hospital.

Several race fans who have watched the horrific video believe that Stewart’s aggressive racing nature caused the death of Ward, including Ward’s father.

“Tony Stewart was the best damn driver by far on the track that night. Why he had to go up as high as he did and hog my son, there’s no reason for it,” Ward Sr. told the Syracuse Post-Standard. “Apparently, he was the only driver on the track who didn’t see [my son.] The one person that knows what happened that night could possibly be facing 10 years in prison. Is he going to say what he’s done?”

Speaking to the Associated Press, Corey Rayburn Yung, a law professor, said that under New York State law, Stewart could very possibly be charged with manslaughter, even if there was no intent to strike Ward. 

“The question over whether someone was reckless is a factual one, and one a prosecutor might let a jury decide,” Yung said. “So far, from what I’ve read, Stewart has cooperated with police. That does not mean that once this is all said and done, that they won’t find him at fault one way or the other.”

On whether Stewart will retire from racing, all signs point to yes given the sources. “There will for sure be a press conference in which Tony speaks for himself, I think he sees no other way around this,” said Waltrip. “It will indeed be a sad day for NASCAR.”

Stewart-Haas Racing has not commented on the rumor, and a representative for the team could neither confirm nor deny Stewart’s intentions.

Formula 1 Racer Decapitated After Violent Crash Flips Car

HOCKENHEIM, Germany – formula one racer decapitated after crash flips car

Prominent Formula 1 racer Felipe Massa was killed in a crash during the German Grand Prix yesterday when his car became inverted in a horrific crash on the first corner almost immediately after the race began. He was killed instantly during the crash, the extremely poor design of the stock car causing his decapitation.

“It is with a heavy heart that we announce the passing of Felipe Massa in a crash during the Prix yesterday,” said Formula 1 representative Frederic Duerst. “Mr. Massa was a phenomenal driver who unfortunately perished competing in a sport that he loved, that he lived for. We pass our deepest sympathies on to his family, friends, and the rest of his team at Williams Engineering.”

Massa, who had grown up racing go-karts from the age of 8, became a world-class racer in his late teens, winning the European Grand Prix championship title when he was 19. He quickly worked his way up the ranks of racing, it finally being announced that he would join the Williams team alongside world-famous racer Valtteri Bottas.

The race, which was postponed for only a few hours following Massa’s death so his body could be moved and car towed away, was overshadowed by the horrific event. Teammate Bottas, who finished second in the race, was hoping for a victory.

“Felipe was one of the best drivers I’d ever seen, and he was a wonderful teammate and friend,” said Bottas. “He joined us in November of last year, and had a great future ahead of him in this sport. It’s a sad day for us, and a sad day for racing fans everywhere. That being said, though, I kicked some a– out there, huh? Second place? I’ll take it.”

Fans in the stands were both saddened and excited by the crash.

“Everyone comes to these races to see a good crash,” said Hans Uhl, a fan who follows the Mercedes team. “This crash was one of the most spectacular I’ve ever seen. Yes, a man was killed, but it was so cool to see [the car] flying through the air.”

Williams Engineering has said that they have plans to look over the entire vehicle to ensure it was not mechanical malfunction that caused the crash.

“We think it was just a bad day on the track,” said Williams Engineering spokesman David Black. “Formula 1 racing is a dangerous sport. They race in the worst-designed cars I’ve ever seen. Open tops, little restraints. Oh, and the helmets? My God, what’s the point? I’m surprised people aren’t dying out there every race.”

Massa will be interred at his home in São Paulo, Brazil. He was 33 years old.

Design & Developed By Open Source Technologies.