Conan O’Brien Fired By TBS After Reportedly Tweeting Joke About Muhammad

NEW YORK CITY, New York –

Late night talk show host Conan O’Brien has reportedly been released from his show, Conan, by TBS executives for tweeting a joke about the prophet Muhammad. The tweet was only posted for a matter of minutes, before a slew of complaints forced Twitter to remove the offending joke.

”I would like to personally apologize to the Muslim people for whatever Conan has said,” said TBS executive Bart Brennan. “I did not personally see the joke, but I want to make it clear TBS had nothing to do with it. I hope our swift firing of Conan, even before knowing any facts, proves that TBS cares about minorities and religious dogma. In closing, we at TBS are really, really sorry. As I said, we never even saw the joke, but I want to make it clear that we never really liked him anyway.”

Several famous friends of Conan’s were reached out to for their thoughts on his firing, but most celebrities reached by Empire News said that they were either ‘too busy’ to comment, or that they ‘didn’t care enough to have an opinion.’

“I want to let the Muslim people know that Conan O’Brien is no longer my client, and that we parted ways the minute I heard about the tweet,” said Sol Simmons, Conan’s former agent. “I want to apologize to the Muslim people, and I want to stress, I never saw the joke. The truth is, my partners and I never liked him anyway.”

Most late night television viewers say that won’t miss Conan’s show, as there were too many others to choose from as it was, with most people preferring Fallon, anyway.

“He has always been a disappointment,” said Conan’s mother Mary. “He was always a little pain, and I told him, ‘Conan, comedy is definitely not for you.’ I just want to apologize to the Muslim people and I want to make it clear that I have severed all ties with my son. I never saw the joke myself; I don’t even know what Tweeter is. Truth is, though, we never liked him anyway.”

O’Brien says that he’s not really too worried about finding more work.

“Someone out there probably likes me,” said the comedian. “As it is, I really don’t see the big deal. I wrote the joke myself, so it obviously wasn’t even funny.”

TBS has stated that they are considering replacing O’Brien with Arnold Schwarzenegger, and re-working the name to Late Night With Conan The Barbarian.

DETROIT, Michigan –

Acclaimed stand-up comedian and 80s TV star and actor Bill Cosby, 77, best know for his role as Cliff Huxtable on The Cosby Show, has reportedly ended his career in show business, after making what the media is calling ‘outrageous’ and ‘crude’ comments about his rape allegations.

After several women had come forward claiming that Cosby had sexually harassed or assaulted them, the once-loved comedian and 80s TV star had his life turned upside down. A new, planned TV series was cancelled, a Netflix stand-up special was postponed indefinitely, and even Nickelodeon pulled old episodes of The Cosby Show from its Nick At Night lineup.

Cosby has been heckled several times during his tour. In one performance, a man stood and shouted out to Cosby, “You’re a rapist!” before being removed from the theatre by security. During another performance in Hamilton, Ontario, several members of the audience stood in unison and chanted “We believe the women!”

The final straw reportedly came when, just a few nights ago during a performance, a tired-looking Cosby made a sly reference to a woman in the audience – who had stood up to get a drink during the show – by saying that women will have to ‘be careful’ if they’re drinking anything near him. The crowd reacted with oohs and ahhs, taken aback by the coarseness of the joke.

“I can’t believe he’d make light of raping women like that,” said Jamaica Brown, an audience member. “That’s just disgusting. I don’t know why I even wanted to see him anyway. He ain’t that funny without a Puddin’ Pop in his mouth.”

“I thought it was pretty funny, actually,” said Jim Duggins, who was at the theater to see the performance with his wife of 4 months, Melissa. “Oh, actually, my wife tells me that I was offended by the joke. Sorry, I guess I am upset by it. My wife says rape is never funny, so I’m mad now.”

Initially Cosby’s manager said that the comedian was just ‘overly tired,’ and that he didn’t mean what he said on stage, but then made an official statement this morning, claiming that there was no way that Cosby was ever going to recover from his actions as of late, and that the public would just continue to hate him.

“He didn’t quit the business, per se, but I’m pretty sure his career is just dead in the water after all this,” said Cosby’s manager. “He’s making jokes, on stage, about his rape allegations now. That’s the kind of thing that will kill you. He’s truly committed suicide at this point. Yes, everyone’s favorite sweater wearing TV dad has definitely committed career suicide.”