Trump Plans To Demolish The Statue of Liberty, Says We No Longer Accept ‘Tired or Poor’

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

President Trump announced late last night that congress voted 322 to 105 in favor of dismantling the statue of liberty, due to its “misleading statements” engraved on the pedestal.

The statue reads: “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!” According to Americans Against Illegal Immigration, along with our Republican Congress and Donald Trump, this statement misleads immigrants from other countries. It may have them believing they are welcome into America at any time.

“We do not want to allow the tired, poor and homeless into this country. We have enough of those already,” said President Trump. “If they’re tired, poor, and homeless in their own country, what makes you think they’ll do any better over here?Guarantee you they will go on welfare and rob people to survive. That’s what they do. I cannot Make America Great Again if we’re always feeding the hungry from other countries.”

The dismantling of the Statue of Liberty is set to begin March 1, 2018. It is estimated it will take two months to dismantle, then released for shipment back to France by the end of next year. The Statue of Liberty has been seated on Liberty Island in the middle of New York Harbor since October 28, 1886.

The New York historical Museum has already vowed to occupy the area around the historic site for a “sit in” type protest where they will handcuff one another to form a complete circle around the base of the statue.

“They cannot tear it down if we form an unbreakable human barrier,” said José Ramirez, president of the Immigrant Resource Center of New York. “As Patrick Henry said, ‘Give me liberty, or give me death!’ We are not backing down.”

Statue Of Liberty Stolen, NYPD Blame French Terrorists

Statue Of Liberty Stolen, NYPD Blame French Terrorists

 

NEW YORK, New York –

The Statue Of Liberty was reported stolen by security guards early this morning after they watched helplessly as a choreographed fleet of stealthily painted, unmarked apache helicopters lifted Miss Liberty from her base at Liberty Island and carried her away. New York Police Department Commissioner Bill Bratton believes theft was “an act of terrorism” by France.

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The incident occurred at approximately 4:30 am this morning. Security officer Bobby Grazia told reporters that he and the three other guards on duty, who work third shift, were eating hoagies for lunch when the event occurred.

“Me and the guys were eating lunch from a joint called Luigi’s, which was great by the way. They pack that meat in there so good, it’s like heaven. My father has been taking me there to eat since I’m two years old. Yo, anyway, yeah a whole flock of choppers just swooped right in and hauled her away. The lady, I mean, not my sub. We shined our flashlights at them and were yelling at them to get them to stop, I guess they didn’t hear us,” Grazia said.

Police Commissioner Bratton is not taking the news lightly. “It’s not anything we can’t get over, but it’s the point ya know? They stole our girl from us. France is responsible, I am sure of it, everybody knows France is a country of arrogant, pompous Indian givers. If we can’t get her back, we will rebuild better and stronger than ever. After all, that’s what we do here in this great city.

 

U.S. Government Announces Plans To Sell Statue of Liberty

LIBERTY ISLAND, New York – U.S. Government Announces Plans To Sell Statue of Liberty

One of the most iconic figures in the history of the United States will be put up for auction this fall, say representatives from the White House. The Statue of Liberty is being put up for sale after congress has deemed it as “luxury” item that the state of New York, and the government itself, cannot continue to afford to maintain.

The decision was made after several other countries made actual offers on Lady Liberty. After determining that the offers were legitimate, and seeing the astonishing amounts that were being offered, President Obama met with his cabinet and they decided that it would be an easy way to put an ‘injection into the heart of the economy.’

Since October 28, 1886, the statue has stood proudly in place and gave new immigrants to America hope, welcoming them to their new life. The people of France gave the Statue to the people of the United States over one hundred years ago in recognition of the friendship established during the American Revolution.

It appears that friendship has a price after all, though. Representatives from the French government have yet to give a statement on their thoughts about the sale, but financial advisors and lawyers for the government in France are working on making sure they receive a portion of the profit that America makes when selling it.

Ticket sales for The Statue of Liberty tour are happening now, with everyone still being able to gain admittance until the date is announced for the sale. President Obama has urged everyone who has not seen the Statue in person to try to make it to Liberty Island ‘as soon as possible.’

“This is a piece of history, absolutely,” said President Obama. “We want all Americans to be able to see Lady Liberty, her majestic beauty, up close before it is too late. Ticket sales will help in the cost of dismantling the statue from her base for her eventual move to the country of her buyer.”

 

 

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