Trump Superfan Gets Portrait Tattoo Inside Her Anus

Posted on June 25, 2016 by Bob The Empire News Potato

LAS VEGAS, Nevada –

A Donald Trump superfan has gone to great lengths to both show – and hide – her support for Making America Great Again. Mark Rogers, a tattoo artist in Las Vegas, Nevada, has confirmed that he did tattoo a portrait of the Republican nominee inside the anus of a 29-year-old woman.

“She doesn’t want her name out there, because her family doesn’t know she’s a Trump supporter, so she doesn’t want me to mention her, but I can confirm that I did give her the tattoo, yes,” said Rogers. “I was surprised that a supporter would want his tattoo in their asshole; that seems more like something that someone who hates him would get – at least placement wise, but she said she wanted to keep it a secret.”

Rogers says that in his 20 years of tattooing, it’s not the first time he’s tattooed someone’s anus, but it is the first time he’s done a portrait there.

“It was a long, slow process, but we got a really good likeness, I think,” said Rogers. “For my money, though, I wish I could have done a Clinton portrait instead.”

Converse Will Give Free Shoes For Life To Anyone Who Gets Their Logo Tattooed

Posted on December 18, 2015 by Bob The Empire News Potato

SACRAMENTO, California –

Converse Sneaker Company, the cheap canvas shoes that epitomize lazy, relaxed days and are at the forefront of hipster trend, have announced an exciting deal for anyone who has some free skin and an extreme love of sneakers.

According to Maxwell Converse III, the president of Converse Sneaker Company, anyone who gets the famous Converse All-Star logo tattooed on their body will receive free shoes for life.

“We have always prided ourselves on making a great, comfortable shoe for extremely low cost, and charging an arm and a leg for them,” said Converse. “When my grandfather started this company, he wanted people to be able to look cool, laid back, and yet still have the ability to hit the basketball course at any time. We’ve held to that tradition to this day, and it is now, on the even of our 107th anniversary, that we announce free shoes for life to anyone who tattoos our classic logo on their body.”

Converse III says that anyone who has the logo tattooed can simply walk into a store that sells the All-Star line of Converse shoes, show them the tattoo, and they will be able to walk out with a pair of shoes.

“The caveat is that they must get a shoe in their size,” said Converse. “That way they cannot just get the tattoo and get free shoes for all their friends. This offer does not extend to the custom Converse All-Stars that can be purchased on our website.”

Although extremely uncommon, Converse is not the first company to offer free products or services to their customers in exchange for branded tattoos. Companies like McDonald’s, Target, Cracker Barrel, and Blockbuster Video all offer their customers free or reduced-price products if they show their branded tattoo.

Man Arrested for Tattooing 1-Year-Old Baby

Posted on September 28, 2014 by JP

AUTUMNVILLE, California –

A tattoo artist is behind bars this afternoon after allegedly tattooing a one year old baby at his shop in Autumnville. The artist, Charles Dennett, 24, who goes by the nickname ‘Red,’ has been making a career out of tattooing since the age of 18.

According to reports, a couple brought in their baby to the Inks & Stuff tattoo studio last Saturday afternoon, and asked Dennett to adorn their child with a Japanese Kanji. Dennett claims that although he did perform the tattoo, it is the parents who are to blame, not him.

“I get paid to tattoo people and I don’t discriminate with race, religion, or age,” said Dennett. “They were cash customers, and they came in prepared, knowing all about tattoos and what they wanted for their baby. In this state, if you are underage and your parents come in with you and agree that it is okay, then it’s not illegal. I don’t see the problem here. The parents literally begged me to do the tattoo and I feel that they are to blame for this, not me. I was just doing my job, man.”

The tattoo that the parents picked out was a Kanji that in English meant ‘respect.’ They had Dennett tattoo their baby on his arm. His parents, who happen to be covered in tattoos, did admit that their son may have been too young to get ‘inked’, as they called it, but wanted their son to live by the meaning of the tattoo, and never forget to treat others well.

“Respect, in the form of a kanji, is the perfect thing to get as a first tattoo. We were debating, honestly, between the kanji, a bar code, or a tribal band around his little arm, but we figured the kanji would mean the most in his future,” said Kelly Randall, the mother of the baby.

Dennett is currently being held in the county jail, unable to pay his $5,000 bail. He is facing charges of assault and endangering the welfare of a child.

“I still don’t see the big deal. If he doesn’t like it down the road, it’s not like he can’t get the thing covered. I mean hell, it’s really tiny. I’ll tell you, the kid is going to be all about tattoos later in life. He sat like a f—— champ, too,” said Dennett.

The Randalls, Kelly and Jordan, say that they don’t know why it is such a big deal.

“We’ve got two other kids, a 9-year-old and a 13-year-old. They both love getting tattoos!” said Jordan. “You know what they say, once you get one, you’ll never be done.”