RENO, Nevada – 
One teen is hospitalized and listed as being in critical condition, and another faces criminal charges in an assault case police are saying was caused by the “stupidest argument” they’ve ever seen.
Christopher Ramos, 17, was taken to St. Mary’s Regional Medical Center yesterday after an argument with Joseph Goldsmith, 16, over whether the iPhone or the new Samsung Galaxy S5 was the better phone. The argument happened during a house party at Goldsmith’s apartment.
“Chris was saying that his Galaxy was way better than my iPhone.” Said Goldsmith to Reno police. “At first I just laughed off how wrong he was, but he kept at it, talking about the better camera, the better battery life, the better apps, the better everything, and after awhile, I just couldn’t take it anymore.”
According to witnesses at the scene, Goldsmith jumped on Ramos and began punching him in the face, neck, and body, and eventually switched to hitting him over the head with his cell phone.
“I think if hadn’t put his phone into one of those heavy-duty LifeProof cases, it would have just shattered after the first or second hit.” Said Aaron Silver, a witness at the party. “Because he was protecting his flimsy phone, he was able to keep hitting him and hitting him. Man, I tell you, that case really did its job. [Ramos] ended up unconscious after a couple minutes. I filmed it all on my phone so I could share it on YouTube, but the cops confiscated it.”
The arguments on the internet have raged for years over which company produced better equipment, Apple with their iPhones and their dedicated Apple iOS, or the multitude of manufacturers that produce phones for Google’s Android operating system. With Samsung becoming the number-one seller of Android devices, their battles with Apple have only heated over the years. This is the first recorded case of the internet nerd-rage battle spilling into an actual assault.
“We have never seen anything so stupid as these bunch of nerds beating each other up over who has the bigger technological d—. Seriously, it’s just stupid.” Said veteran police officer Julian Lowe. “They weren’t drunk or high, there was nothing else going on. It was just a birthday party that got out of hand thanks to technology. That’s what crime has come to these days.”
Goldsmith was arrested and charged with 1st degree assault, assault with a deadly weapon, and battery. The original charges also included attempted murder, but lawyers were able to remove that charge. Goldsmith was released on bail and is due in court in August.