BREAKING: President Trump Gives Full Pardon to Bill Cosby

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

President Trump has reportedly offered comedian Bill Cosby a full pardon, after the fallen star was found guilty of sexual assault and sentenced to 3 to 10 years in prison. Cosby, who is a lifelong friend of President Trump, could have spent his final days in prison had Trump not stepped in.

“Bill is absolutely and without a doubt, innocent on all charges,” said President Trump. “I understand very well how our court system works. I probably understand better than anyone, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I have met with Bill, we have spoken at length about the accusations against him, and I don’t believe a word of them.”

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Over 60 women came forward to say that Bill Cosby had assaulted them, with many being drugged and raped while unconscious.

“We all know women like to gab, and this is a perfect example of why I plan to lower the crimes associated with assault or rape,” said Trump. “It’s obvious in this case that Bill had consensual sex with a woman who later regretted it, and then accused him of rape. Afterwards, of course, dozens of other women knew they could also try and make a dime off the publicity, and accused him as well. It’s sickening – truly sick – how some people think.”

Cosby, 81, will be allowed to leave prison on Monday as soon as the pardon is signed.

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