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Pope Francis Tries To Curb Molestation In The Church, Declares That Priests Can Marry

March 31, 2019

VATICAN CITY -  Pope Francis made a surprise announcement during his weekly Sunday Mass in Vatican City, stunning the world when he said that the church has decided that their priests would be allowed to wed, ...

Uncategorized

Man Sues Apple After Trying to Take a Bite Out of His iPhone, Discovering It’s Not An ‘Actual Apple’

March 31, 2019

CARSON, Georgia - A Georgia man has filed suit against tech giant Apple, saying that after purchasing the latest iPhone, he tried to "eat the device," and suffered severe damage to his mouth, teeth, and gums. "My ...

Health/Fitness

Man Hospitalized After Getting Battery Stuck In His Anus, Says He Thought It Would ‘Give Him More Energy’

March 31, 2019

MIAMI, Florida -  A Florida man was taken to a Miami hospital after reportedly getting a large, D-cell battery stuck in his anus. The man claimed that he thought that the battery might give him the ...

Science/Tech

Man Who Bought a Pair of Dentures on Shopping App WISH Can Suddenly Speak Chinese

March 31, 2019

BOSTON, Massachusetts -  A Boston man, Arnold Richardson, said he didn't know what to do when his dentist told him that he was going to need a new set of custom dentures to replace the ones ...

Health/Fitness

Man In Coma For 26 Years Wakes Up, Decides To Be Medically Induced For An Extra Year So He’ll Be Eligible For Retirement

March 31, 2019

ATLANTA, Georgia -  Richard Atkins, 64, has been in a coma for the last 26 years, the result of a hit-and-run car accident that left him hospitalized. Although doctors had told Atkins' wife, Miranda, that they ...

Health/Fitness

Man Buys Over $10,000 Worth of Girl Scout Cookies, Dies Trying to Eat Them All Himself

February 28, 2019

EDGEWORTH, Florida -  A Florida man has died after he attempted to eat over $10,000 worth of Girl Scout cookies, which is approximately 1500 boxes. John Richards, 43, died after his 87th box, when he suffered both ...

Headlines

For The First Time In The History of Man, No Babies Were Born and No Living People Died On February 27th, 2019

February 28, 2019

WASHINGTON, D.C. - According to the US Department of Births and Deaths, February 27th, 2019 was the first time in the recorded history of Man that no one was born, and no one died. The phenomenon ...

Business
Amazon Unveils 'Amazon Crime' Service, Offers Black Market Products at All-Time Low Prices

Trump Strikes Deal With Amazon, Netflix, and Others – No More Federal Taxes EVER

February 28, 2019

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  In what most are calling a "backroom deal," President Trump has struck an arrangement with Amazon, Netflix, Disney, Wayfair, and other major companies in the United States, where they will not have to ...

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