Former President Trump Calls Kyle Rittenhouse a ‘Modern-Day Hero’ In Leaked Private Recordings
Multiple People Hospitalized, Several Arrested During ‘Rush Limbaugh Has Cancer’ Celebration in Boston
Trump To Host Massive ‘I Beat Impeachment’ Party at White House This Weekend
Michelle Obama Files For Divorce After Shocking Revelation; Barack Obama Admits: ‘I’m Gay!’
Jeffrey Epstein Spotted Alive and Well in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
Former President Trump Calls Kyle Rittenhouse a ‘Modern-Day Hero’ In Leaked Private Recordings
Multiple People Hospitalized, Several Arrested During ‘Rush Limbaugh Has Cancer’ Celebration in Boston
Trump To Host Massive ‘I Beat Impeachment’ Party at White House This Weekend
Michelle Obama Files For Divorce After Shocking Revelation; Barack Obama Admits: ‘I’m Gay!’
Jeffrey Epstein Spotted Alive and Well in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
Former President Trump Calls Kyle Rittenhouse a ‘Modern-Day Hero’ In Leaked Private Recordings
November 24, 2021
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A leaked private recording was recently obtained exclusively by Empire News, wherein former President Donald Trump directly refers to recently acquitted teenage gunman Kyle Rittenhouse as a 'Modern Day Hero.' "Mr. Ex-President is, ...
Kraft Foods To Re-Brand ‘Kool-Aid Man’ Mascot to ‘Kool-Aid Person’ After Pressure From Left-Wing Groups
November 24, 2021
CHICAGO, Illinois - Kraft Food Holdings, the parent company behind Kool-Aid Brands, has announced that their long-stand mascot, The Kool-Aid Man, will be modified to be the Kool-Aid Person starting early next year. Extended pressure ...
Multiple People Hospitalized, Several Arrested During ‘Rush Limbaugh Has Cancer’ Celebration in Boston
February 08, 2020
BOSTON, MA Over a dozen people were hospitalized and 11 people were arrested after a massive celebration broke out in the streets of Boston on Friday. Last week, conservative dickbag Rush Limbaugh announced he had late-stage lung ...
Trump To Host Massive ‘I Beat Impeachment’ Party at White House This Weekend
February 08, 2020
WASHINGTON, D.C. President Trump has decided to throw a massive "I Beat Impeachment" party at the White House, which is slated to kickoff around 6PM on Saturday, with plans to run until the early morning hours ...
Parent Company of Corona Beer Sues China Over Bad Press During Their Coronavirus Scare
January 25, 2020
MEXICO CITY, Mexico - Anheuser-Busch InBev, the parent company of Corona brands of beer, has announced they are filing suit against the Chinese government, after the massive Coronavirus scare in that country has caused a mass ...
Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina-Scented Candle Is Reportedly Giving People Herpes in Their Nasal Passages
January 25, 2020
LOS ANGELES, California - Gwyneth Paltrow, who has been shilling garbage Goop products for years - items that have been proven multiple times to be a sham at best, and potentially life-threatening in their bad pseudoscience ...
Michelle Obama Files For Divorce After Shocking Revelation; Barack Obama Admits: ‘I’m Gay!’
January 18, 2020
PHILADELPHIA, PA Former President Barack Obama announced late last night that he had filed for divorce from his wife of 27 years, Michelle Obama, after he revealed a secret double life as a homosexual. "It is with ...
Jeffrey Epstein Spotted Alive and Well in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
January 18, 2020
PUERTO VALLARTA, Mexico Jeffrey Epstein, the man once thought capable of bringing down multiple governments with insider information about his immense pedophila ring and sex island, was reportedly seen alive in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico early this ...