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Multiple People Hospitalized, Several Arrested During ‘Rush Limbaugh Has Cancer’ Celebration in Boston

February 08, 2020

BOSTON, MA Over a dozen people were hospitalized and 11 people were arrested after a massive celebration broke out in the streets of Boston on Friday. Last week, conservative dickbag Rush Limbaugh announced he had late-stage lung ...

Government

Trump To Host Massive ‘I Beat Impeachment’ Party at White House This Weekend

February 08, 2020

WASHINGTON, D.C.  President Trump has decided to throw a massive "I Beat Impeachment" party at the White House, which is slated to kickoff around 6PM on Saturday, with plans to run until the early morning hours ...

Business

Parent Company of Corona Beer Sues China Over Bad Press During Their Coronavirus Scare

January 25, 2020

MEXICO CITY, Mexico -  Anheuser-Busch InBev, the parent company of Corona brands of beer, has announced they are filing suit against the Chinese government, after the massive Coronavirus scare in that country has caused a mass ...

Health/Fitness

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina-Scented Candle Is Reportedly Giving People Herpes in Their Nasal Passages

January 25, 2020

LOS ANGELES, California -  Gwyneth Paltrow, who has been shilling garbage Goop products for years - items that have been proven multiple times to be a sham at best, and potentially life-threatening in their bad pseudoscience ...

Headlines

Michelle Obama Files For Divorce After Shocking Revelation; Barack Obama Admits: ‘I’m Gay!’

January 18, 2020

PHILADELPHIA, PA Former President Barack Obama announced late last night that he had filed for divorce from his wife of 27 years, Michelle Obama, after he revealed a secret double life as a homosexual. "It is with ...

Headlines

Jeffrey Epstein Spotted Alive and Well in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

January 18, 2020

PUERTO VALLARTA, Mexico Jeffrey Epstein, the man once thought capable of bringing down multiple governments with insider information about his immense pedophila ring and sex island, was reportedly seen alive in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico early this ...

Headlines

BREAKING: President Trump Arrested Leaving Trump Tower in New York

January 12, 2020

NEW YORK CITY, NY -  President Trump was arrested by the NYC Police Department while exiting his former residence at Trump Tower on Sunday morning, according to reports from the Associated Press. Police Chief Mario Brann said ...

Entertainment

Gizmo Files Lawsuit Against Disney Over ‘Baby Yoda’, Claims Company Stole His Likeness

January 12, 2020

LOS ANGELES, California -  Gremlins star Gizmo has filed a lawsuit in a Los Angeles superior court against Disney over their latest viral property, "Baby Yoda," also known as The Child, from the hit Disney+ series The Mandalorian. Gizmo ...

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