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Health/Fitness

Study: Showering Daily Decreases Penis Size

January 31, 2019

TOKYO, Japan - A study from a prestigious Japanese university proves that the size of the penis decreases proportionally according to the number of showers a man takes. The study, which was initialized by Dr. Eypee ...

Health/Fitness

Government Releases The Cure For Cancer, But With The Largest Price Tag of Any Drug in History

October 31, 2018

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a breakthrough discovery, officials at the Scientific Lab For Study and Research in Washington, D.C., have developed the world’s first 100% cure for all types of cancer, no matter the region in ...

Headlines

Michelle Obama Says She Plans To Run Against Trump in 2020 – With Barack As Her V.P.!

October 31, 2018

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking move, Michelle Obama says she is ready to begin campaigning for a shot at the White House in 2020. The announcement comes after several months of speculation, but with Michelle ...

Headlines

President Trump Readies Deportation of Melania After Huge Fight At White House

October 31, 2018

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump says he is beginning the preparations for deporting his wife, Melania, back to “whatever third world shithole she comes from,” according to official White House documents. According to reports, Melania and President ...

Headlines

After Record Number of Children Disappear, Man Arrested With 47 Kids Found Locked In His Basement

October 31, 2018

MIAMI, Florida A Florida man has been charged with felony kidnapping and attempted murder after authorities discovered 47 missing children locked in the basement of his home. According to police, more than 50 children have been reported ...

Health/Fitness

Parents Concerned By The Lack of Drugs Found Mixed In With Children’s Halloween Candy

October 31, 2018

BOSTON, MA A large group of concerned parents say they are extremely disappointed in the lack of drugs found mixed into their children’s bags after trick-or-treating this year. They say the issue comes because of the ...

Law

BREAKING: President Trump Gives Full Pardon to Bill Cosby

September 30, 2018

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  President Trump has reportedly offered comedian Bill Cosby a full pardon, after the fallen star was found guilty of sexual assault and sentenced to 3 to 10 years in prison. Cosby, who is ...

Headlines

President Trump Vows To Lower Severity of Sexual Assault Crimes, Hopes To Make Them ‘Ticketable’ Offenses

September 30, 2018

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  President Trump said this morning during a press conference that the "MeToo movement has gone too far," and that "too many honest, hardworking men are being thrown under the bus with lies and ...

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