Michael Jackson’s Father, Joe Jackson, Reported Dead…Again
June 27, 2018
NEW YORK CITY, New York - Joe Jackson, the extremely abusive father and former manager of The Jackson Five, died today. He was 89. Only last week, he was the "victim" of a death hoax after ...
World Cup Has Lowest Ratings in History as People Discover How Much Soccer Sucks
June 27, 2018
RUSSIA - As the World Cup championship gets underway, the TV ratings for the sport have dwindled to record lows, with only approximately 1 out of every 3 million homes tuning in. Despite marketing the event ...
Frito-Lay Announces New, Mega-Sized Doritos Chips
June 25, 2018
ATLANTA, Georgia - Frito-Lay, the company who manufactures Doritos-brand tortilla chips, has announced that they have plans to make an excessively large chip, with plans to release it later this summer. "After a viral meme caught our ...
Donald Trump Offers Roseanne a Job In The White House After Her Recent Firing From ABC
May 31, 2018
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Donald Trump has reportedly offered Roseanne Barr a job in his cabinet at the White House, after ABC fired Roseanne and cancelled her sitcom over racist tweets made by the comedian. President ...
Harvey Weinstein Reportedly Attacked, Raped in Prison While Awaiting Sentencing
May 31, 2018
NEW YORK CITY, New York - No more than 72 hours after turning himself into authorities after allegations he sexually assaulted dozens of women of the last few decades, Harvey Weinstein has reportedly been "savagely beaten ...
There Were No School Shootings In The United States This Week, Marking The First Time in 2018
May 31, 2018
WASHINGTON, D.C. - For the first time since October of 2017, there were no school shootings in the entire United States this week, and police throughout the country are breathing a huge sigh of relief. "Every week, ...
Roseanne Just Filed a Lawsuit Against George Soros Over The Cancellation of Her Show
May 31, 2018
From Daily World Update: Roseanne Barr has just filed a suit against George Soros and ABC, claiming the liberal money machine coerced the network into canning her new show over a “misunderstood tweet.” Barr is suing ...
Hollywood Desperate To Find Actor Who Hasn’t Sexually Assaulted Anyone
May 30, 2018
LOS ANGELES, California - Hollywood moguls at film studios across the city are in a "desperate search" for an actor who hasn't sexually assaulted anyone before next award's season begins, and so far, the search is ...