Pope Francis Tries To Curb Molestation In The Church, Declares That Priests Can Marry
For The First Time In The History of Man, No Babies Were Born and No Living People Died On February 27th, 2019
President Trump Signs New Order To Remove Marijuana From Schedule-1 Drug List
Michelle Obama Says She Plans To Run Against Trump in 2020 – With Barack As Her V.P.!
President Trump Readies Deportation of Melania After Huge Fight At White House
Pope Francis Tries To Curb Molestation In The Church, Declares That Priests Can Marry
For The First Time In The History of Man, No Babies Were Born and No Living People Died On February 27th, 2019
President Trump Signs New Order To Remove Marijuana From Schedule-1 Drug List
Michelle Obama Says She Plans To Run Against Trump in 2020 – With Barack As Her V.P.!
President Trump Readies Deportation of Melania After Huge Fight At White House
Spongebob Squarepants Scheduled for Cancellation in October
February 25, 2018
ORLANDO, Florida – Nickelodeon, the TV network behind the popular animated series Spongebob Squarepants, announced this week that after nearly 20 years, the show would be going off the air. “It’s been a long ride, and we ...
President Trump Backtracks On ‘Arming Teachers’ Idea; Claims He Forgot There Were Black Teachers
February 25, 2018
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump has gone back on his statements about arming teachers throughout the United States, claiming that he now considers it a “bad idea.” “When I originally talked about arming the teachers of this ...
Barack Obama Announces Plans To Get Elected As Italian Prime Minister
February 25, 2018
FLORENCE, Italy - Former President Barack Obama has announced his bid to become Italy's newest Prime Minister. After discovering that Italian law did not dictate that the leader of the country must be a citizen, Obama ...
Jeff Sessions Arrested After Routine Traffic Stop Turns Up 20 Pounds of Marijuana In His Car
January 31, 2018
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Attorney General Jeff Sessions was arrested today after police in Washington, D.C. pulled him over for a broken tail light, and found over 20 pounds of marijuana in the car. Police say that during ...
Teen Files Lawsuit Against His Parents Because He Was ‘Born Black’
January 31, 2018
BOSTON, Massachusetts - A 16-year-old in Boston has filed one of the most controversial lawsuits in modern history, with legal reports showing that he is suing his own biological parents for being born black. Jamal Cutler, 16, claims he ...
57-Year-Old Virgin Sues His Former Middle School For Teaching Abstinence
January 31, 2018
HUNTSVILLE, Alabama - James Holmes, 57, has filed a lawsuit against his former middle school for teaching him abstinence, as he said that they taught him that he would "burn in hell" if he ever had sex, ...
Old Juggalo Says He’s Worried About The Future Generation of Lil’ Juggalos
January 31, 2018
PONTIAC, Michigan - 55-year-old Kevin Anderson has been a self-proclaimed juggalo for over two decades, but says that young juggalos who are just coming into the family aren't going to continue with the positive message that ...
Justin Bieber Signs $2M Porn Deal With Brazzers
January 31, 2018
LOS ANGELES, California - Justin Bieber announced today that he has signed a $2 million contract with Brazzers, the adult website, with plans to complete 5 pornographic films. Sources close to the film company say one of ...