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Health/Fitness

California Passes Law to Completely Ban Cigarette Sales

January 31, 2019

SACRAMENTO, California -  Lawmakers in California have passed a new law through the House that will completely abolish the sale of cigarettes throughout the state, according to reports. The new regulation, which will cost the state ...

Headlines

President Trump Signs New Order To Remove Marijuana From Schedule-1 Drug List

January 31, 2019

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump signed a new order today, removing marijuana from the list of schedule-1 drugs, opening the floodgates for the drug to become legal on a federal level. "I've always been against drinking, because ...

Health/Fitness

Want Your Baby To Have Beautiful Green Eyes? Eat Your Boogers During Pregnancy

January 31, 2019

BOSTON, Massachusetts -  It all started as a simple thread in a well-known Spanish forum called “forocoches,” where someone posted the following question: “If I eat snot, will my children have green eyes?” The post went viral ...

Health/Fitness

Study: Showering Daily Decreases Penis Size

January 31, 2019

TOKYO, Japan - A study from a prestigious Japanese university proves that the size of the penis decreases proportionally according to the number of showers a man takes. The study, which was initialized by Dr. Eypee ...

Health/Fitness

Government Releases The Cure For Cancer, But With The Largest Price Tag of Any Drug in History

October 31, 2018

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a breakthrough discovery, officials at the Scientific Lab For Study and Research in Washington, D.C., have developed the world’s first 100% cure for all types of cancer, no matter the region in ...

Headlines

Michelle Obama Says She Plans To Run Against Trump in 2020 – With Barack As Her V.P.!

October 31, 2018

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking move, Michelle Obama says she is ready to begin campaigning for a shot at the White House in 2020. The announcement comes after several months of speculation, but with Michelle ...

Headlines

President Trump Readies Deportation of Melania After Huge Fight At White House

October 31, 2018

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump says he is beginning the preparations for deporting his wife, Melania, back to “whatever third world shithole she comes from,” according to official White House documents. According to reports, Melania and President ...

Headlines

After Record Number of Children Disappear, Man Arrested With 47 Kids Found Locked In His Basement

October 31, 2018

MIAMI, Florida A Florida man has been charged with felony kidnapping and attempted murder after authorities discovered 47 missing children locked in the basement of his home. According to police, more than 50 children have been reported ...

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