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Politics

Michelle Obama Officially Announces Her Candidacy for President

January 04, 2020

PHILADELPHIA, PA -  Michelle Obama, the wife of former president Barack Obama, has announced that she will be running for president in the 2020 election. "I know I'm a lot later than most people, but to be ...

Headlines

BREAKING: War With Iran Imminent; President Trump Reinstates Military Draft

January 04, 2020

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Earlier this week, President Trump illegally ordered the assassination of a top military general in Iran, Qasem Soleimani, prompting Iran to promise a swift revenge. In the imminent face of war with a powerful ...

Science/Tech

Cats Are Superior To Dogs In Every Way, New Study Conducted By Cat Scientists Confirms

June 30, 2019

BOSTON, Mowsachusetts - A group of cat scientists in Boston say that they have come to the scientific conclusion that cats are better than dogs in "every conceivable way," and that their research is to be ...

Business

Woman Gets Pregnant After Sleeping at Hotel With Dirty Sheets

June 30, 2019

MIAMI, Florida - A woman in Florida says she got pregnant on a business trip to Boston last month, claiming that the hotel never changed the sheets on the bed, and there must have been "ejaculate" ...

Uncategorized

A Pride Festival in Maine Turns Into Orgy After Protestor Drugs Food Truck

June 30, 2019

BANGOR, Maine - A Pride festival in Bangor, Maine turned into an all out sex festival after a group of protestors slipped what police say was "highly potent" MDMA, or ecstasy, into the supply of the ...

Headlines

President Trump Set To Legalize Marijuana on a Federal Level

June 30, 2019

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump announced earlier this morning via Twitter that he would be legalizing marijuana on a federal level, which would automatically lift restrictions in every state, even those that have yet to set ...

Business

WWE Chairman Vince McMahon Enters Agreement to Purchase New Wrestling Startup AEW

June 30, 2019

STAMFORD, CT - WWE CEO and Chairman Vince McMahon announced today that he had met with Tony Khan, the owner of new wrestling promotion AEW, and that the two had agreed on a purchase amount, with ...

Headlines

Trump Works Out Deal with Mexican President: ‘They’re Paying For The Wall, We’re Giving Them Back Texas’

April 30, 2019

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  President Trump announced today that he and Mexican President Andres Manual Lopez came to an agreement about the border wall "fiasco," and that Mexico has finally agreed to pay for the Wall, in ...

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