WASHINGTON, D.C. –
Melania Trump has been in the public eye for years – before she was the First Lady, she was a fashion model, and for that, it means always keeping her figure perfect. To this day, she still has modeling and clothing line deals that require her to be in top form.
Now, for the first time ever, Melania has revealed her secrets to staying in shape at all times.
“It’s actually really simple,” said the Slovenian-born Mrs. Trump. “I get my stomach pumped two or three times a day, depending on how often I eat. Instead of absorbing all the fat and nutrients, I have all the foods I eat pulled out before my body can use them.”
Melania says that this procedure has worked for her for “a number of years,” but now she is very happy that she is the First Lady, because it means no more trips to the doctors.
“We have a top-notch medical staff in the White House, and our Doctor, Dr. Lemmy, pumps me every morning, afternoon, and evening,” said Melania. “Within 30 minutes of any meal, I have to be pumped. If I’m traveling to an area where I don’t have a regular doctor, I just don’t eat. It works wonders.”
Melania said that she has not defecated in “well over 5 years.”