Man Forcibly Inserts Handgun Into Anus Because He Thinks It Is The ‘Safest Place’ To Keep It
April 28, 2017
DELUTH, Mississippi - Dale Kyle, 40, was recently hospitalized after he says he put his 1887 Colt Peacemaker into his anus, thinking it was the "safest place" for it to be. According to doctors, Kyle put the ...
United’s Settlement With Dr. David Dao Was Reportedly Only $800 And Free Flight
April 28, 2017
CHICAGO, Illinois - United Airlines, who stupidly took responsibility for the treatment of unruly jerk passenger Dr. David Dao, has reportedly reached a settlement with Dao, but the outcome is not what most people expected. According to ...
BREAKING: Trump Impeachment Proceedings Beginning May 1
April 28, 2017
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The liberal left has been asking for his head on a stick, and it's seeming like they might get it - Donald Trump's impeachment proceedings officially begin on Monday, May 1st. "This is an ...
Trump Becomes First Person To Admit Their Favorite Band is Nickelback
April 26, 2017
WASHINGTON, D.C. - During an impromptu press conference at the White House, President Trump answered questions about his first 100 days in office, and also briefly joked with reporters about some of his favorite things about ...
Michelle Obama Files For Divorce After Obama Allegedly Caught In Sex Orgy
April 26, 2017
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Michelle Obama has reportedly filed for divorce from former president Barack Obama after allegedly catching him cheating in a massive sex orgy in their home. According to an inside source, Michelle reportedly returned home ...
Netflix Show ’13 Reasons Why’ Sparks Thousands of Teens To Commit Suicide
April 26, 2017
LOS ANGELES, California - The new series from Netflix, 13 Reasons Why, which deals with the aftermath of a young teen who commits suicide, has apparently 'triggered' thousands of teenagers across the country to kill themselves. "It's shocking, really, ...
REPORT: Over 4,000 People Nationwide Overdosed On Marijuana on 4/20 ‘Holiday’
April 21, 2017
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Yesterday was April 20th, otherwise known as 4/20 - a favorite "holiday" among weed smokers, as 420 is the police code for marijuana. This year was, according to the Department of Drug Enforcement ...
President Trump Plans To ‘Bring Back’ Slavery, Owning of People as Property
April 18, 2017
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a move that probably surprises no one, President Trump has signed an executive order that will allow white people to buy, sell, and trade minorities, as well as use them as non-paid ...