Op-Ed: ‘Joe Biden Just Ruined My Anti-Biden Business’
Only Hours After Announcing Separation from Lisa Bonet, Actor Jason Momoa Photographed Holding Hands with SNL’s Pete Davidson
Former President Trump Calls Kyle Rittenhouse a ‘Modern-Day Hero’ In Leaked Private Recordings
Multiple People Hospitalized, Several Arrested During ‘Rush Limbaugh Has Cancer’ Celebration in Boston
Trump To Host Massive ‘I Beat Impeachment’ Party at White House This Weekend
Op-Ed: ‘Joe Biden Just Ruined My Anti-Biden Business’
Only Hours After Announcing Separation from Lisa Bonet, Actor Jason Momoa Photographed Holding Hands with SNL’s Pete Davidson- Former President Trump Calls Kyle Rittenhouse a ‘Modern-Day Hero’ In Leaked Private Recordings
- Multiple People Hospitalized, Several Arrested During ‘Rush Limbaugh Has Cancer’ Celebration in Boston
Trump To Host Massive ‘I Beat Impeachment’ Party at White House This Weekend
Sean Spicer Contracts Bird Flu From Bad Kentucky Fried Chicken
March 29, 2017
WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer was hospitalized after he contracted what he said was "bird flu" from eating a bucket of KFC chicken that had spoiled. According to his doctor, Spicer merely had ...
Morgue Employee Cremated By Mistake While Taking a Nap During His Break
March 28, 2017
BEAUMONT, Texas - 48-year old Henri Paul Johnson was killed last week after he was accidentally cremated during a long shift at the Coroner's Office Morgue. According to police, Johnson took a nap on a stretcher after ...
President Trump Plans 2-Month Vacation To Bahamas After ‘Stressful’ First Quarter
March 27, 2017
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump announced this morning that he would be taking a 2-month vacation beginning April 1st, returning to Washington in June, after a "stressful" first quarter of 2017. "There are a lot of things ...
Prayer Group Now Taking Requests For People Who Deserve To Die
March 26, 2017
BOISE, Idaho - A prayer group in Boise, Idaho has put out a request on social media saying that they will accept "prayer requests" for people who should be wished dead, or otherwise injured - converse ...
Los Angeles Doctor Offers World’s Most Expensive Colon Cleanse Using Aborted Fetuses, ‘Blood of the Innocent’
March 26, 2017
LOS ANGELES, California - Doctor Carl Jung, a gastroenterologist working in Los Angeles, California, has said he has developed the world's most perfect, and most expensive, colon cleanse for his patients who need to "get the ...
Pope Francis Caught On Security Camera Stealing Food Placed Out For Homeless
March 19, 2017
VATICAN CITY - Pope Francis was caught stealing food that had been placed behind the Vatican for homeless last night, causing many to decry him as "evil." According to Vatican Police, the footage was retrieved from a ...
Chuck Berry Not Actually Dead, ‘I’m Just a Heavy Sleeper’ Says Rock Legend
March 19, 2017
ST. LOUIS, Missouri - Chuck Berry, the man that many people say originated modern rock 'n' roll music, was reported as having passed away at the age of 90 by mainstream media, and the topic was ...
President Trump Signs Executive Order H11, Repeals 19th Amendment So Women Can’t Vote
March 18, 2017
WASHINGTON, D.C. - After what President Trump says was an election that was "too close" for his comfort, he has said that his latest executive order, H11, will repeal the 19th amendment, making it so women ...