WASHINGTON, D.C. –
President Donald Trump signed his latest executive order this morning, making murder legal in all 50 states, but there’s one catch – it’s only legal if the murderer is a white, male and the person they kill is a minority.
“This new order is designed to clean out the riff-raff in this country, and as well all know, our biggest problem are the browns, the reds, the yellows, and the blacks…especially the blacks – they’re the ones causing most of the problems in this country,” said Trump. “My new order is designed to keep the streets safer, one murder at a time.”
Trump went on to say that any white male is able to kill any minority at any time, for any reason, and it would be considered “universal defense,” which is what Trump says self-defense of the country should be referred to as.
“Universal defense is what we do, as Americans. We universally defend ourselves, our families, and our freedoms,” said Trump. “Now, I want to take that a step further, and universally defend ourselves from the nasty, the deplorables, basically, that lie within.”
The ACLU immediately filed an injunction in the NYC Federal Courts with hopes of overturning Trump’s order.