Equifax To Give Everyone Perfect 850 Credit Scores As Apology For Data Breach

equifax

ATLANTA, Georgia – 

After a massive data breach that released sensitive information on nearly every single American, which caused a widespread panic over compromised data and credit scores, Equifax has announced that they are completely wiping out any remaining credit information, and that everyone would in turn be given an 850 credit score – the best available.

“While we maintain that this breach could have happened to any bureau or organization, and that we are not solely to blame, we understand what a breach of this magnitude means to the people of America,” said Equifax CEO Richard Smith, only moments before he stepped down as head of the credit bureau. “So, as an apology, we have decided to increase everyone’s scores to a higher level. The highest level, actually – 850. This should alleviate many concerns from the public.”

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Equifax has commented that they have “100% re-secured their data,” and that the 850 scores will roll out in waves, based on last names and social security numbers. Having the 850 on Equifax could drastically increase credit ratings for many Americans, as loan companies – include those that offer credit cards, home loans, and car loans, base their credit decisions on the average of the 3 companies.

“Basically, someone who had a 350 score before, which is the lowest you can have, at all 3 bureaus, would now instantly go up to a 516 average,” said Smith. “Because most Americans have sub-prime credit scores that hover around 500-600, many of them will see their scores rise upwards of 100 points.”

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