Canadian Football League Announces Field Color, Length Changes

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MONTREAL, Canada – Canadian Football League Announces Field Color, Length Changes

Football fans watching the Canadian Football League games starting in the 2016 season will see a few changes related to the field of play.

CFL officials are citing these changes as “improvements to the game,” and will start with a complete alteration to the size of the playing field – They will be introducing the world’s first and only metric football field. The customary 110-yard long field will change to 110-meters, which is actually just slightly over 120 yards, forcing the players to run the extra distance to score a touchdown.

Other alterations coming to the CFL include a change in the color of the grass from green to magenta, with the lines and markings on the field changing from white to brown. League officials claim the color changes will make the game easier to follow on live television, and will not interfere with various forms of color blindness.

“What a crock of shit these changes are,” said Roger Eh, a former player for the Toronto Toughs. “The changes have nothing to do with the fans. The league has been pissed off at players filing grievances during the off-season regarding the distance they run in an average game.”

CFL officials say that they will stick by their plan to make the game more fun for fans with vision problems, and explained it in a news release with the statement. “The Canadian Institute for the Blind has endorsed these enhancements, and fully support the CFL in leading the way in addressing these issues.”

Former Montreal Muffdivers running back Michael “Frenchy” Gravee agrees with the CFL union, saying the white-on-green combination has always been the recognized standard in the world of football.

“These horrible colors the league is trying to use do nothing more than ‘gay up’ the game. As for these distance changes, clearly the CFL does not want any more records set or broken,” Gravee said, as he currently holds a number of those distance records. “It is a sad day for football when you have to try to figure out where your 30-meter line is, and why the players are on their fourth down with centimeters to go. Who the hell knows anything about centimeters?”

There has not been a statement made by the union representing the CFL officials, although Gravee speculates that “The only blind ones on the field are the officials, and colors aren’t going to fix that.”

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