Facebook Launches New ‘Choose Your Drama Level’ For Newsfeed

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PALO ALTO, California – 

Facebook has officially launched their latest feature, a “drama level” that can be adjusted in user settings for your timeline or newsfeed.

“The point of the setting is to allow people who do not want to see political posts or religious posts that go against their own beliefs, to take out posts about rival sports teams, and to block posts that a user might find ‘offensive,'” said CEO Mark Zuckerberg in a post. “Not everyone wants to be bothered by opposing opinion and drama…but for those who do, they can turn the drama meter way up, and see nothing but posts designed to conflict with their own delicate sensibilities.”

Shaniqua Jackson, who has been using Facebook since day one, said she is “extremely excited” to partake in the new feed.

“Oh girl, I love me some fucking drama, ya hear?” said Jackson. “Every day I be going over to my baby daddy’s new ho’s page, and I creep on her stupid ass, and she’s just the dumbest bitch. I love seeing her stupid ass post stuff, gives me all the fuel I need to rack his ass over the coals. If I could see nothing but posts by that bitch, I would.”

The new feature comes at a perfect time, where many people are “Trumped-out,” and are sick of hearing about the dealings of our country’s president. Conversely, his barrage of supporters can still be sure to read every single positive remark made about him.

 

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