Feds Swarm Idaho Town After Discovering Baby Prostitution Ring



A small town in Idaho has been inundated with federal agents after it was discovered that several people in the town were running a prostitution ring made up of babies, with the youngest reportedly being only 6 days old.

“We received an anonymous tip that several newborns in Woosterville were selling themselves, by the hour, for the purpose of sexual intercourse,” said federal investigator Joe Goldsmith. “We began our investigation last month, and were able to gather enough evidence to arrest 6 babies.”

According to Goldsmith, the children arrested were all extremely young babies, and were fetching upwards of $5,000 per hour for sexual intercourse.

“It’s honestly one of the most disgusting crimes I’ve ever seen,” said Goldsmith. “We collected over $2 million in cash, as well as a stockpile of nearly 2,000 diapers, gallons of formula, and more. Apparently, these babies were providing strangers with not only a sexual outlet, but also with all the things necessary to make sure they were comfortable. These were not bottom-barrel baby prostitutes.”

Police say that there may be very little to hold the accused on, though, as they say that all the babies consented to the acts.

“Most of the babies, when asked if they would be okay with having sex for money, had nothing negative to say,” said Goldsmith. “We all know that not saying no automatically means yes, so for these babies in particular, there may be very little we can do to keep them off the streets and in their own cribs.”

Investigators say that each parent could face up to 180 days in prison for allowing their babies to be used for sex.

“Sadly, most of them have the solid argument about the baby not saying no,” said Goldsmith. “It’s a win for us for now, getting these babies out of the hands of the parents, but with good lawyers who know to ‘keep the laws off baby bodies,’ they’ll all have their kids back within the week, and God only knows what things will happen.”



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