Star quarterback for the New England Patriots, Tom Brady, who along with his team is under investigation from the NFL for possibly using under-inflated balls during their AFC Championship win over the Indianapolis Colts, admitted this morning that there were a number of balls deflated during the game.
“I’m sorry to say that yes, there were deflated balls during the AFC Championship game,” said Brady during a press conference Friday morning. “We didn’t want to have to admit this, because it’s not something we, as a team, would normally talk about, but in discussing this with the rest of the guys, we have decided to come clean about everything.”
Reporters, who were eager to hear about the sideline events during the Patriots massacre of a 45-7 win over the Colts, were given more info than even they bargained for.
“You see, we don’t have to deflate our footballs to win games,” said Brady. “We are the New England Patriots, and we can dominate everyone. We’re a dynasty. We have been winning games for eons. But yes, we definitely deflated some balls that day.”
“We deflated the balls of every player on the Colts,” explained Brady. “We deflated their balls when we rushed over them. We deflated their balls when every time we made a touchdown, they had to look up at the scoreboards with tears in their eyes. Hell, we deflated the balls of their fans, as they watched us crush their team that, in all honesty, only plays at slightly above the level of a Pee-Wee Football team. Yes, we deflated some balls, that’s for sure. But we certainly didn’t have to deflate any footballs to beat a team in our home.”
Currently, no penalties are being lobbied by the NFL to the New England Patriots over the severe deflating of balls that the Colts team and fans were forced to endure.